Bob Rich’s Self-Therapy Guide: Dealing with Relapse

In this series, Dr. Bob Rich teaches you how to leave behind depression, anxiety, and other forms of suffering all too common in our crazy world. Recovering the Self published three sections of Bob Rich’s book From Depression to Contentment: A self-therapy guide in a series of posts – the first section ending with the quest for meaning and the second section concluding with The Development of Resilience.

The third section of Bob’s work was marked by special attention to various techniques and practices that are helpful in controlling depression. It concluded with a discussion on values and their implication in therapy. Bob now shares the final section of his self-therapy guide that delves deeper into the practical side of his therapy work illustrating with examples from individual cases of his own patients.

In the previous part, Bob talked about the best ways to reach out to a grown-up loved one who is suffering from depression and unwilling to seek help. Now in the concluding post to the series, he shares some golden words on relapse prevention.

Dealing with Relapse

There is only this instant. Right now, you may have permanently and irreversibly freed yourself from depression. Five minutes from now, you might be in the pits again.

Here is the “relapse prevention” card I used with face to face clients when I still had them:

When helping people with addictions, I got them to prepare an internal statement in case of a slipback, e.g., “I’ve beaten a 20 cigs a day habit for two years. I can beat a one cig once habit.”

You may remember my 10-second relapse while struggling with plumbing. One positive thought allowed me to step back and look rationally at the situation. The relapse was gone.

By conscientiously working through this book, you’ve achieved contentment. When you do have a glitch, simply reapply the same tools.

The best is equanimity. “I feel like crap. My despair is 7/10 for now. That’s all right.” If you can truly and honestly accept that you’ve slipped, and it’s all right, then, paradoxically, the low mood will probably go away. (Remember, though, if you “accept” it in order to have it go away, then you haven’t accepted it, and it won’t work.) But even if, for now, you’re in the dumps, you can feel content with life, so it doesn’t matter. “Who has ever said I need to be perfect?”

And as with everything, this, too, shall pass.

Even processed trauma can return to pester you. I’ve given an example earlier: I’d detoxified my memory for when four bigger boys put feces on my face, but when reading a book, I was ready to chuck up again. What did I do? Another session of exposure therapy, which could be briefer.

Finally, if you’ve been serious about applying this program to your life, you’re now far more resilient, more able to cope with anything. You’ll have far more insight into the inner workings of your mind, so you can gently laugh at the old tricks of your inner monster/child who tries to trip you up again.

You are not what you do, but the person doing it. If you happen to be doing depression again, for now, that’s fine. Change is the only constant.

Apply this logic, and your bounce-back can be as soon as you like. Of course, you may want to enjoy a little misery for a while, and that’s all right, too.

I hope that, after reading this little book, you consider me your friend. Email me at bob@bobswriting.com about anything.

Have a good life. Regardless of circumstances, you can.

– Dr. Bob Rich

• depression relapse
• Dr. Bob Rich
• relapse
• relapse prevention card