Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


If You Want Valentines Done Right You Have to Do it Yourself

Guest Blogger: Valerie Garciayoung couple having romantic dinner together in a restaurant

Valentine’s Day has been the one holiday that focuses on a man’s love for his significant other, but there is no reason why this Valentine’s Day can’t be focused on a woman’s love for her man. The question becomes what is “right” for Valentine’s Day. Men and women have different expectations for Valentine’s Day.

V-Day Expectations

A survey co-sponsored by Men’s Health and Women’s Health magazines exposed some interesting trends between what men and women think about Valentine’s Day. In the survey, 56.9 percent of women did not expect to have sex simply because it was Valentine’s Day while a little over 50 percent of men expected to have sex because it Valentine’s Day. So for about 50 percent of both men and women, Valentine’s is not about sex. What do men want out of Valentine’s Day? There are a variety of things that men want from Valentine’s Day. 56.9 percent want to plan Valentine’s Day, while 4.5 percent of men think the female should plan Valentine’s Day, and 38.6 percent of men think that both the man and the woman should plan Valentine’s Day.

Joint Planning

Tag teaming can be a good way to start the Valentine’s Day adventure. Send him something simple like Valentine’s Day flowers from FTD. Guys are not used to receiving flowers at work, so simple is better. Include a card, with the flowers, that can become the focus of his day. Whatever you put into the card becomes the starting point for your Valentine’s theme. Some inspirational quotes you may want to use:

  • “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou
  • “You should be kissed, and often, by someone who knows how.” – Gone With The Wind
  • “You have bewitched me, body and soul.” – Mr. Darcy, Pride & Prejudice
  • “If you live to be 100, I hope to be 100 minus one day so I never have to live without you.” – Winnie the Pooh

Change it Up

If you are an adventurous couple, make it a scavenger hunt. Have a car pick him up and drop him at Victoria Secrets where he is given another clue to pick one of three outfits for him or for you. If you are a couple that is more reserved then maybe order a nice dinner in and create a quiet, cozy retreat for him to spend time with you. The idea is to let him know you have a plan his job is simply to go along with your plan without ordering him to comply.

Giving him choices along the way allows him to maintain some control while limiting his choices to things and events that you like is a goal that pleases you both. Because there is such a difference between what a woman wants from Valentine’s and what a Man expects from Valentine’s, compromises need to be made.

About the Author

Val is a stay-at-home mom and blogger from Denver.

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