Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


And Soon

by Barn Brand

Butterfly taking off

Sadness soaks into my pores from a thunderstorm that never ends

A never ending rain, that is drawn to me like a magnet’s invisible pull surrounds itself with useless metal shavings

Every hiking trail of my life is dominated by the shadows of rain clouds

What unknowable sin locks me in this downpour?

I’ve lived too long with the false promise of umbrellas:

No matter what alleyway of my mind falsely offers refuge
No matter how softly furnished my home
No matter the tender hands of friends, lovers
No matter the introspection of talk therapy
No matter the allure of pharmaceutical cocktails or the promise of hallucinogens
Definitely not alcohol
It’s been this way since ever

Now I remove my soaking jacket, let the water puddle on the floor, and towel dry my hair

Now I affirm myself a caterpillar ready to emerge from darkness to fly sun blessed and eat pollen from a rainbow of summer flowers

Now I write my own blueprints – with a steady hand, I build my cocoon an escape door – I am transforming and soon I will fly.

About the Author

Bronx born and raised Barn Brand, age 78, has been writing poetry since the age of 12. He feels that his words have now come of age and are ready to be read. Barn is a member of the poetry circles of West Milford, NJ, and Yuma, AZ – the two communities where he lives his life. When not reading or writing, or gardening, Barn pedals down the road averaging 4,500 therapeutic miles each year. Prior to retirement, Barn spent 27 years as the CEO of New Jersey’s largest community based ambulatory healthcare agency.  He is currently in the process of completing the manuscript for his first book of poetry. Barn earned a bachelor’s degree in political science from Long Island University and a master’s degree in school administration from New York University. His work has appeared on One Art: a journal of poetry, on The Masterlink and on Recovering The Self; and in catalogs of the 7th and 8th Annual Foothills Art & Poetry Exhibitions.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
Inclusion in Recovering The Self is neither an endorsement nor a confirmation of claims presented within. Sole responsibility lies with individual contributors, not the editor, staff, or management of Recovering The Self Journal.
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