Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing

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Six suggestions to embrace and nourish your relationship with yourself and others

BY RICHARD A. SINGER JR. — As human beings we are consistently involved in an endless search for something external to fill the painful void within us. We search for the perfect partner, or our soul mate, with the hopes of finding everlasting joy, happiness and true love.  We look for a new partner to relieve our pain of the loss of another. What we fail to realize is that by expecting another human being to make us a complete person we are decreasing our own self worth and simply saying that we are not wholesome or complete as we are. We need to realize that we already have the precious gift of love and happiness deep within our own being and that our pain will always exist until we begin to trust and rely on the innate happiness within our own beating heart. There is no soul mate out there; your soul mate lives within you, patiently awaiting the day when you decide to reunite with the perfect love that exists and will always exist in the depths of your soul.

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete”
 — Buddha

You are your best friend, lover and inspiration, above all others. By loving your entire being you will gain unlimited capacity to share this unconditional love and kindness with everyone who crosses your path. Embrace the uniqueness of your being and begin to engage passionately in the admiration of your whole self. You have a specific meaning and purpose for being alive, thus it is your responsibility to honor your life. Before you can engage in any other intimate relationship, you must devote love and respect for every aspect of your being. Learn to express compassionate and unconditional self-love. Allow the intuition of your soul to guide you to higher states of consciousness and be the recipient of the immense love that resides within your heart. Let love, compassion and kindness exude from your being and touch all the souls you come in contact with.

Six suggestions to embrace and nourish your relationship with yourself and others

Your Daily Walk with the Great Minds

1.  Practice mindfulness. A life lived mindfully is a life filled with peace, tranquility, joy, truth, bliss, ecstasy and compassion. Mindfulness is a form of meditation, involving direct participation in each moment as it occurs with complete awareness of your present experience. Dive into the harmonious and perfect rhythm of the universe and you will experience the true essence of life. Let go of the attachments of the past and the desires of the future and simply be, right now. These attachments always lead to discontentment, frustration, and an inability to enjoy life. Free yourself from this bondage by first forgiving yourself, and then forgiving others.

2. Awaken to the truth of life. Do not allow your ego to manipulate you into believing that the melodramas of the physical world are a reality in which you must participate. Always reflect deeply within your being and allow your spirit to determine what is important in your life.

3. Accept change. Acknowledging change plays a vital role in our relationships. When we accept that others have faults and weaknesses, just like ourselves, we are truly in a position to know the other person and to experience their inner world. Rather than attempting to change the person to our ideal partner, we are able to witness and enjoy the growth of another unique human being.

4. Quiet your ego. Be still and know that you are not what your ego tells you and you do not have to react to what your mind thinks, feels, or believes. Stillness will help you to connect to that genuine part of yourself that doesn’t judge, manipulate, or harm. To live by your ego whether you are relating with yourself or others will ultimately cause conflict and confusion. Relating with your genuine self will emanate love in all interactions.

5. Acknowledge impermanence. Escape from behind the clouds of misunderstanding and gently surrender to the eternal present of your daily life. Accept and be one with the energy of the Universe. Nothing stays the same, yet everything remains perfect. To surrender to whom you are and to what is in each moment is the way to enlightenment in all areas of your life.  Acceptance of momentary and constant change is the key to peace.

6. Embrace simplicity. This is the essence of spiritual life. To simply be, living devoid of all the chaos caused by external demands, is the path to ultimate liberation and pure joy. Implement enjoyment and humor in each moment you experience during your journey of life. Learn to laugh at yourself and the challenges presented to you. Smile in the face of adversity and know that this is the natural state of your genuine being in this physical lifetime.

About the Author

Richard A. Singer is an award winning author, trained psychotherapist, and most importantly a seeker of truth. He continuously searches for wisdom to use in his life, as well as helping other human beings in their precious journey. He has studied eastern psychology, buddhist healing, and non-violence at the doctoral level; in addition, he has spent years devoted to the study of wisdom recorded throughout history. He seeks to impart this knowledge to the world through his writing. His primary purpose is to benefit humanity in any way possible. Richard states that “My books are not only for reading, they are meant to be lived.” Richard resides in the Cayman Islands with his wife Debbie and his twin sons, Matthew and Alexander.

Learn more about Richard A. Singer on his website or Check out Rick’s upcoming book Now: Embracing the Present Moment, officially Released in July 2011.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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