Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


Recovering from a Breakup?: Tips on Mending a Broken Heart

Guest Blogger: Mariana Ashley

I’ll never forget my first real breakup. I had been with my former boyfriend for five years when we decided to part ways. I took it very hard because throughout our times and experiences together, I had never been so certain in my life that I was with the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Yet before I knew it, he was gone – and when he walked out the door and moved on – I felt like he had taken my heart with him.

Recovering from a breakup is probably one of the most difficult things you’ll have to do in life. Inevitably in your relationship, you’ve established a set of standards and patterns that revolve around you being in a relationship. After your breakup, however, it’s time to get back into the swing of being single again and take time to be alone before re-entering the dating game. For those of you who are going through a breakup, here are three great tips for getting through the difficult process.

Turn to Trusted Friends and Family

After losing a love, it’s vital to try and fill that newfound emptiness through healthy, dependable outlets. Many individuals will turn to drugs, food, rebound partners, and alcohol to fill the void they are suffering through after losing someone. One healthy and efficient way to comfort yourself during a breakup is to turn to people you know you can count on to get you through the difficult process. What’s most important in all of this is that you reach out to people who will support a healthy recovery for you. So take thirty minutes to write down a list of two to five people you know you can count on; then call them up and open up to them about your pain and sadness. Not only will this help you move forward much quicker, it will allow you to rebuild any friendships you may have let drift away during the time you were in a relationship.

Utilize the Literature

After my breakup, I was desperate to find something or someone to relate to during my sadness and confusion. I couldn’t comprehend why all my hard work to save my relationship had failed right before my eyes. Well, the good news is that there are many astute professionals, therapists, and authors who write books and manuals on how to recover from breakups. I personally read through two great books – Getting Past Your Breakup and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken – that helped bring some real perspective and clarity to my emotions. Sometimes all it takes is knowing somebody can relate to the way you feel to get you through a difficult process, and books are a great way to do this. However, if you read some books and feel they aren’t helping, you can always seek out professional help from a therapist. There is no shame in this.

Give Yourself a Break

It’s normal to feel a little dejected and deprived following a difficult breakup. Yet if there is one blessing in going through it all, it’s the chance to start treating yourself and transitioning to feeling happy being along again. Remember, now that you are single, it’s vital that you re-establish an independent lifestyle. So, take this time to start doing things you’ve always wanted to do, such as joining a book club, running after work, taking a cooking class, etc. Whatever it is you’ve always wanted to try, start doing it! By doing these good things for yourself, you’ll be able to transition into being single and self-satisfied much faster than you would if you were just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.

Nobody wants to go through a breakup, but you’ll eventually get through it and feel happy being single once again. Utilize these three tips to help you get through it all.


About the Author

Mariana Ashley writes about educational issues for and can be reached by email at


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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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