PTSD
Bob Rich’s Self-Therapy Guide: The Resilient Mindset
In this series, Dr. Bob Rich teaches you how to leave behind depression, anxiety, and other forms of suffering all too common in our crazy world. Recovering the Self published three sections of Bob Rich’s book From Depression to Contentment: A self-therapy guide in a series of posts – the first section ending with the quest for meaning and the second section concluding with The Development of Resilience.
The third section of Bob’s work was marked by special attention to various techniques and practices that are helpful in controlling depression. It concluded with a discussion on values and their implication in therapy. Bob now shares the final section of his self-therapy guide that delves deeper into the practical side of his therapy work illustrating with examples from individual cases of his own patients. In the 5th post in this section, You Get What You Send, Bob reflected on the timeless treasure of thinking and doing good. Here, he illustrates the resilience of human mind after severe trauma.
The Resilient Mindset
As I’ve mentioned, I am completing this book soon after a total hip replacement. To celebrate my improvement, I entered in a charity walk, and made a friend, Beryl. Please read the reason for my admiration for a little old lady at my blog.
Briefly, it shows the power of determination. She was on the way home from rehabilitation after a terrible, multi-handicapping car smash, when she saw some calves for sale. She bought them, so that the obligation to care for them would force her to keep active. She deliberately imposed the need of caring for other living beings as a tool for recovery.
My little blog post about her encapsulates much of the message of this book.
I learned the relevant attitude, the first time I read Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Of course, by now you’ve read that book, so you’ll know why. He was a genius at survival. In his book, there is not one word of hate, reproach, or even resentment of the Nazis. There is not one word of self-pity. He survived because he set up a scientific study for himself: to work out why some people survived, while others gave up and died. Because he was being a scientist (a “participant observer”), he simply accepted whatever happened and kept going through incredible suffering and trauma.
There are other examples. Cabrini Pak studied the writings of eight men who had been prisoners of war, then built a good life for themselves. Some, for example Senator John McCain, became famous. She looked for indications of “transcendence:”
The idea that human beings have a predisposition towards transcendence, whether in a spiritual, religious, or other sense, has been recognized in multiple domains, including the scientific (especially neuropsychology) and social science fields, like religious studies and sociology. Although transcendence is defined in a variety of ways, the notion of a universal or near-universal human capacity to “rise above or go beyond the limits of,” or “overcome” something about one’s current situation, remains at the core of these formulations.
In a situation that devastated most people, these men became better, stronger, more resilient, because they were able to “rise above or go beyond the limits of” their misfortune. McCain realized that everyone had their breaking point, and he knew he’d reached his as a result of terrible torture. Yet after having been given time to rest, he was able to resist, and never stopped resisting. In the end, he concluded that one of the most important things in his life, “along with a man’s family, is to make some contribution to his country.”
This illustrates that when some extraordinary event occurs, such as torture, we struggle for meaning. When this fails, we fall to pieces. When it succeeds, we become stronger.
Certain prisoner of war camps during the Korean War were perhaps some of the worst described. One touching story is that of William Funchess. He suffered PTSD symptoms until he self-published a book about his experiences. He could sleep without nightmares after that. The book is out of print, but a blog article gives an excellent summary at War History Online.
This inspiring story tells about a man hundreds of POWs considered as their guardian angel: chaplain Father Emil Kapaun. He died, but to the very end, maintained his dignity, and refused to give in to mental breakdown.
A research paper by Segal and co-workers has examined what enabled people like him to keep striving, and even to have the inner strength to give to others, when everyone else only experienced despair and terror. “Whether religion, art, music, or an abiding faith in the destiny of humankind, those captives who saw beyond the pressures and the pain and the bloodshed to a higher order of functioning managed to defend themselves against collapse and to build the capacity for living beyond the barbed wire. One’s mind, one’s education, the ability to play a musical instrument, these are the things which assume higher value, things that captivity cannot easily erase.”
As Nietzsche has famously said, “He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.”
Two of my favorite books make the same point through the experiences of asylum seekers.
Najaf Mazari is a Hazara, an ethic group targeted for genocide by the Taliban in Afghanistan. After terrible hardships including torture, he was chosen by his family: “We may all be killed, and need one of us to continue the family line.” He went on the refugee trail, which led to a sinking boat in the Coral Sea. The Australian Coast Guard rescued him — then he spent five years in the Woomera Detention Centre for immigrants, where conditions were as harsh as a concentration camp, knowing every day that he could be sent back, making nonsense of his sufferings. He is one of the lucky ones, though, and now has a prosperous carpet business, and is a respected member of society.
His book, The Rugmaker of Mazar-e-Sharif, recounts these harrowing experiences, and yet will make you laugh, time and again, joining him while he gently laughs at himself. And every cent he earns through his writing supports good causes back home in Afghanistan. He has financed ambulances, and girls’ schools (the toxic distortions of Islam have a particular hatred of education for women).
The second book of this kind is the life story of Para Paheer, a Tamil young man from Sri Lanka. He became a student leader, which made him a target of the authorities. After horrid torture, he and his wife escaped to India. But when the Sri Lankan civil war ended, India forcibly sent refugees back, despite validated evidence of continuing murder and torture. Leaving his wife and little son, Para got onto a people smuggler boat, which, you’ve guessed it, sank. The determination, decency, and courage of a merchant ship captain led to the rescue of most of those on the crowded little boat, and they ended up in Australia’s North West Point Immigration Detention Centre on Christmas Island. Then, he was adopted as honorary son by Alison Corke, after the two managed to exchange emails. To understand why I love this book, read the title: The Power of Good People.
Note that being resilient doesn’t stop you from suffering. The trauma still has its effects, which may include PTSD. You still need exposure therapy, or some equivalent. However, if you have meaning and purpose, you will cope, regardless.
So, when things get tough for you, see how you can help others. My walking mate, Beryl, deliberately created a need for herself to have an obligation to a bunch of calves. If you have honest belief in a religion, immerse yourself in it, and it will lift you to extraordinary heights, as it did for Father Kapaun.
Only two things matter in this life: what we take with us when we die, and what we leave behind in the hearts of others. Remember this, and you can emotionally survive the worst that ill fortune may throw at you.
Homework
If you haven’t already done so, read the three books I’ve mentioned (Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, The Rugmaker of Mazar-e-Sharif by Najaf Mazari, and The Power of Good People by Para Paheer and Alison Corke), and others like I am Malala.
Follow these people’s example, even if your circumstances are far more fortunate.
– Dr. Bob Rich
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