Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


The Stages of Grief

Posted on by in Grief

by Hannah Bates

The death of someone close to you, whether they are a child, parent, or partner, is one of the hardest things that we can go through in life. Losing a loved one is an incredibly difficult and traumatic event and sometimes it can be so overwhelming that we don’t know how to cope. Sadly, grief is something that everyone will experience at some point in their lives but it is not something that we ‘get over’; it’s more a loss that we will learn to eventually live with.

Image @ Flickr

Many people think that they are not coping and don’t understand why they feel certain emotions that they would not necessarily normally relate to bereavement. There are five common stages of grief and it’s not something that has a typical timing, there is no given time for how long it can take and no specific time is classified as ‘normal’.

The Five Stages of Grief

  • Denial
  • Isolation
  • Anger
  • Bargaining
  • Acceptance

The five stages of grief do not necessarily happen in any order, and some may experience one stage lasting a lot longer than others. The immediate realization of losing someone creates an intense overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss and at this stage, people usually deny believing that this person has gone from their life.

Many people feel isolated and very alone after they have lost someone and they may feel angry towards that person, that they are not around anymore. Anger is a confusing emotion because there often follows a guilt of feeling angry. Bargaining comes when the person tries to find a reason as to why they have lost that person, often saying statements such as ‘If only they had gone to the doctor sooner’.

Acceptance is the final stage of grief, and although it doesn’t take away the sadness or the strong feeling of being bereft, it allows the person to slowly start living their life again. Sadness never completely goes away, but it does get easier.

How to Help Yourself

Image @ Flickr

If you are finding it difficult to cope with everyday life or feel that your emotions are too overwhelming, then talk to someone. Whether it’s a family member, a close friend, or a professional bereavement counsellor, communicating your feelings will help you to come to terms with what has happened. Some people talk to spiritual mediums who connect with the loved ones they have lost who are in spirit. You could communicate with your loved ones and try a medium reading at TheCircle where you only speak to professional and compassionate mediums. Some people expect medium readings to be upsetting or strange, but actually it can bring so much comfort to us knowing that our loved ones are around.

Losing someone close to us is one of the biggest challenges we can face in life. We will never be able to replace that person but we can move forward with our life when we are ready in the way that they would want us too. Talking openly about our feelings will help the stages of grief to progress, thus finally letting allowing acceptance and happy memories to shine through.

About the Author

Hannah is a freelance journalist that has written for many prestigious publications, both print and online. She is an avid traveler, combining her love of witnessing the wonders of the world whilst writing primarily about alternative healing therapies and recovery from bereavement.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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