Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


Unwakeable Sleeping Infant

by Neall Calvert

What shall I name you, infant,
Swaddled, sleeping deep within,
Blissfully unaware of life—

For your unspoken requirements—
For decades!—I’ve strained
To keep the raucous world
Away or shushed, denying
My need for worldly engagement.

Unbidden, you appear
As I’m gazing wond’ringly
Out misty bus windows:
Rainy-day trolley trip
To pick up an infrequent paycheck.
I want to shout, “You’ve sabotaged
my career!” but this, our first meeting,
Seems pregnant: larger than anger.

Home again, I ponder:
Infant, how do we even begin
To communicate—you asleep
And me defended, drifting in life,
Not connecting. Who are you?
Why do you not awaken?! . . .

. . . I am Awakened, although sleeping.
I am on a long journey—eternal, in fact.
Dialogue with the timeless
Is not the same as other conversations:
It happens through thoughts;
You see? We can interact . . .

. . . But what function do you serve? . . .

. . . I carry sacredness
From all traditions, times,
Religions, belief systems—
Believe in me and you shall be saved . . .

. . . But how?—You are in me . . .

. . . Exactly . . .

. . . Then it’s been necessary for me
To keep the world at a distance—
For decades? . . .

. . . Yes—until you could develop
A path of your own. . . .

I descend into sleep: an hour’s
pure peace.

About the Author

Neall Calvert has been writing on the mystical path—life as a healing journey—for several decades. His blog of essays and poetry is found at and his book THROUGH TO THE NEW: A Dialogue with Higher Self: Transforming Hopelessness and Despair through Unconditional Love is at

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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