Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing

Self-Esteem

The Shocking Truth behind Low Self-Esteem No One Talks About

by Blaise Ticha

Have you ever felt like your own inner voice is straight up bullying you? Putting you down at every chance it gets? That’s author Brené Brown hitting the nail – that judgmental voice thwarts your progress.

Picture this: that mean internal critic as some jerk heckling you non-stop. Scrutinizing every little thing you do and reminding you you’re not good enough. Sounds pretty messed up, right?

We’ve all been there – trapped in this cycle of brutal self-criticism. For years, it was just accepted as the price to pay for being human. Low self-esteem? Well, that’s just how it is for most people.

But here’s the shocking truth: that harsh inner voice criticizing your every move is not coming from you. In fact, it was planted there by toxic societal narratives and messed up experiences. Let me break it down.

From an insanely young age, we’re bombarded with messages reinforcing feelings of inadequacy. The media sells us photoshopped fantasies as reality. Schools punish us for being “different” from impossible standards. Even parents unintentionally shame us into beliefs of unworthiness. And after being beat down over and over, your brain started internalizing those limiting beliefs as facts. That cruel inner critic isn’t your true voice. It’s external brainwashing looping on repeat.

Think about it – would you ever talk to a friend or child that way? Of course not!

So why do we treat ourselves so badly? Here’s the bitter pill: your low self-esteem has NOTHING to do with you as a person. It’s just years of conditioning to accept toxic BS as gospel truth.

Low Self-Esteem

Beliefs about being:

  • Not smart/attractive/successful enough
  • Fundamentally flawed and unworthy
  • Destined to fail or be judged

That’s programming – not facts.

But don’t just take my word for it. Let’s look at the numbers:

  • 60% of adults have low self-esteem;
  • 85% of people struggle with harsh self-criticism.

So if the majority battles these thoughts, then they CAN’T be our true nature. They were inflicted upon us from external influences.

Look, I could rattle off more statistics proving we’re not the problem. But you get the gist: low self-esteem is a lie we’ve collectively bought into as a society. And the only way to break free is to recognize where that inner voice REALLY came from. The mean, judgmental thoughts toward ourselves aren’t ours. They’re implanted beliefs programmed by crappy narratives out of our control.

But now that you’re aware of the shocking truth, you can start reprogramming that mental brainwashing with a new script. Here’s how to silence that judgmental narrator once and for all:

  • Notice when negative self-talk bubbles up and press pause;
  • Respond with kind self-talk like you’d give a dear friend;
  • Replace self-limiting beliefs with uplifting personal mantras;
  • Do small acts to reinforce your worth (movement, hygiene, etc.);
  • Be patient as you overwrite years of conditioning.

It won’t happen overnight, but consistency is the key. The more you catch limiting beliefs and counter them, the looser their grip becomes until one day, that inner critic is exposed for the liar it always was. A fake voice you’ve outgrown – like beliefs in Santa or the Boogeyman.

In its place? Unwavering confidence in the beautiful, worthy person you truly are, and the motivation to craft a reality celebrating your unique strengths. Instead of trying to “fix” perceived flaws, you’ll make your self-acceptance a priority. Because at the end of the day? You’re already more than enough, just by being you.

In fact, learning to silence the harsh inner critic and nurture self-love is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. As certified therapist Dr. Shannon Kolakowski shares:

Self-love and self-esteem don’t require you to reject any part of yourself. It’s about embracing who you are – imperfections and all.

So I’ll leave you with this: next time that cruel narrator strikes, pause and ask: “Is this belief really mine, or programming to reject?” Then tell it to zip it as you go watch Netflix or something. Because the only voice that matters is the boldly self-assured one shouting: I AM WORTHY, CAPABLE AND ENOUGH – FLAWS AND ALL!

Go get ’em, friends!

Share your self-love journeys, breakthroughs, and tips below. Let’s expose this self-esteem myth and spread the truth. Together, we can drown out that toxic inner voice with self-compassion, unshakeable confidence, and radical self-acceptance.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
Inclusion in Recovering The Self is neither an endorsement nor a confirmation of claims presented within. Sole responsibility lies with individual contributors, not the editor, staff, or management of Recovering The Self Journal.