Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


5 Tips for Successful Long-Distance Relationships

Guest Blogger: Debra Johnson

I am in a long-distance relationship. Yes, I can hear the gasps of shock from here. But it works. It is frustrating at times and I don’t always feel as close to my partner as I would like, but we both do our best to make this relationship strong enough to weather the hard times. It was not always like this, however. In the beginning, we had a very hard time with communicating. In fact, it almost cost us our relationship, no matter how much we felt for each other.

Through trial and error, we have found out what works for us. Thankfully, we do not plan on being long-distance forever; but in the meantime, I want to share what worked for us. That way you will not have to suffer through the pitfalls we had to in order to learn these simple tips.

Relationships are hard. I know it does not always feel like it, especially when they are going well, but it is true. They take work and effort and concentration. They take time spent together. Unfortunately, sometimes that is harder than it should be. Being involved in a successful long-distance relationship is hard work, but it is not impossible. There are just a few things you need to do to keep the romance alive.

  1. Keep in touch – This can mean anything from emails to text messages to phone conversations to Skype calls; whatever works for you. The point is to keep the lines of communication open. Nothing kills a romance faster than silence. No, absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder.
  2. Make them a part of your life – Have shallow conversations. Tell them about your day, even when it is boring. What you did at work, what you had for lunch, what your co-workers said. Yes, it may seem boring to you, but those day-to-day things help you feel connected and a part of each other’s lives.
  3. Share yourself – Have deep conversations. Don’t load up on the trivial and forget the meaningful. If you really want a strong relationship, you are going to have to talk about hard things. Things like kids and finances, emotions and baggage; things you probably do not really want to talk about. Yes, it would be great to wait until you can do that in person, but you will not. You will be so happy to see them you will not want to ‘ruin the mood’. You have to talk about these things some time, though, to have a really strong relationship.
  4. Flirt – Do not make everything either dull or scary. Have fun! Flirt with them and let them know how much you miss them. More than a ‘miss you’ text every few hours – be specific. I miss your smile or how about a hug? Yes, it can be nauseatingly cutesy, but it also makes them feel loved and appreciated. You can take it a few steps further, but I will not go into that here!
  5. Have friends – I know you want to spend all your time with them, but you can’t. It is not practical to live your life from a distance. You have to have friends to hang out with in the real world as well or you will end up feeling unfulfilled and resentful. Don’t put all your happiness into their basket, okay? That only leads to frustration on both sides and can end up ruining your relationship.

It is very hard having a relationship from a distance. Sometimes you just want to run to wherever they are for a simple hug. But you can make it if you follow these five tips and keep the lines of communication open.

About the Author:

This guest post is contributed by Debra Johnson, blogger and editor of nanny housekeeper. She welcomes readers’ comments at her email:

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