Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing



by El Bentivegna

I want to build a life
Made of wood beams and red bricks,
Touch up my personality with a splash of gold paint.
These sorry bones are not brittle. These walls
Have been barraged by catapults and have not
Tumbled down.

I patched my roof with online purchases,
Sealed my foundation with some indulgent thing,
Tried my best to burn smoke for warmth.
I knew
This would not keep out the damp,
But it’s tough to worry about getting wet
When you’re drowning.

Being a person is work.
Work is hard
When you’re half a person.

Someday my soul will be watertight.
I will shake off the storms
Like droplets of dew.
Yellow tape gone, greased latches opened,
Light streaming in.
Construction always takes
Than they say it will.

About the Poet

El Bentivegna wants to tell you about themselves, but they worry you’ll think they’re needy. They live in Cleveland with their husband and five children (cats).

Note: This poem has also been published in #EnbyLife.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
Inclusion in Recovering The Self is neither an endorsement nor a confirmation of claims presented within. Sole responsibility lies with individual contributors, not the editor, staff, or management of Recovering The Self Journal.
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