Home and Garden
When Patience Blooms
by Brenda Darnley Martin
I have always been a sentimentalist. I guess this can and has caused me to retain many items long after I even remember where, when, or why I got them. But I have always hated to give up on anything – except for diets, that is. 😊 There’s always a reward at the end of a diet. Admittedly it’s those “rewards” that required me to go on a diet in the first place, but obviously it means something special to me, as treats are and have always been my habitual coping mechanism to deal with the stresses of life. My father, who was much like me, used to say that these kinds of “treasures” possessed “sedimental” value: they are treasure to me but likely “trash” to everybody else.
And now that I’ve reached retirement, I have also reached a saturation point with regard to sentimental things (i.e., letters, photos, souvenir programs, stuffed animals, my grandmother’s china, and gifts) – all sorts of “treasures” from my life. And my habit of treasuring things also applies to plants I’ve been gifted or purchased for special events. Since I don’t come from a long line of heiresses, none of these items are really worth a lot – even Grandma’s 100-year-old china – but they give me a sense of roots and purpose, in that I know I have yet to accomplish the job of cleaning it all up and out!
Image @ Brenda Martin
This is not an attitude that applies only to me either! About 40 years ago, when my husband and I were newlyweds living in Chicago, we used to enjoy watching the late Reverend Robert Schuller’s television program, The Hour of Power, which was broadcast from his Crystal Cathedral in Anaheim, California. We are Catholic so this didn’t count as “church” for us per se, but it was a Christian-based hour of positive thought, purpose, and prayer, which also included entertainment value. After 40 years, we don’t remember a lot of specific moments from his shows, but one we remember well was when Dr. Schuller was speaking with a guest about approaching the end of life, and shared that one time someone had asked his wife, Arvella Schuller, what she would want to do if she was told that she only had six months left to live. He had been expecting to hear her say that she would want to travel to Paris or to some other wonderful place like that, but he was surprised to hear her say that she’d want to clean out her closets! She didn’t want anyone to come into her house after she had died and think she had been disorganized!
I am not sure this is still the status quo, but most women raised in the 20th century grew up believing that, as the woman of the house, we are the person responsible for the orderliness of the home. If the house is a mess, it is our fault and, even though most of us also became jobholders, many of us still hold that value in our hearts.
You may recall that I had mentioned above that I also like to keep potted plants that were given to me by someone important in my life, even though, often, after I’ve kept them a long time, I no longer remember exactly who or how or where I got them. But I love them just the same.
For several years now, on the table in the very sunny corner of my Florida family room I have kept two amaryllis plants that I believe we got at Easter. Though neither one of them has bloomed for at least four or five years now, we have continued to water and cut them back at times, when their leaves get long and dead. About three months ago, one of my neighbors, who was visiting said to me, “Brenda, those plants look like they have died. I think you should get rid of them.” I responded that I knew they were still alive and that I had just cut them back about a week before. Amazingly, about a week ago they both started sprouting and they are both in the process of blooming. Not only have they never bloomed at the same time before, but one of them has actually sprouted twins! They are both really beautiful and I can’t wait to invite my neighbor over to see my “dead” plants! 😊 So, I have been slightly vindicated against those who don’t understand my habit of keeping things long after they would not have.
The life lesson here is that even when you think a phase of your life (career, relationship, etc.) may be long gone, people or things often come back around, even in the most unexpected times. So, it’s important not to give up – especially on yourself or anything that’s extremely important to your soul, because you never know…
About the Author
A native of the Detroit area, Brenda Darnley Martin received her BA from St. Mary’s College and her MBA from the University of Notre Dame, before marrying and settling in the Chicago area. Happily after eight long cold winters there, she and her husband Mike moved to Tampa where they have lived happily unfrozen for more than thirty years!
While working as a member of the theatre-staff at The Florida Aquarium, Brenda became enthralled with the flounder and its ability to “hide in plain sight.” This served as the spark of inspiration for her Treasure-Hunt Fish children’s picture-book series, featuring the positive life lessons of three young fish living in Old Tampa Bay. In addition to writing that book series, Martin, a seriously addicted animal lover, works as a freelance writer, actress, radio host/producer and constant “dog-ma.” For more information visit: www.brendamartin.net.
