Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing

Guest Blogger

Recovering from a Breakup with Your Dating Partner

Guest Blogger: Debbie Lamedman

Maybe it was fun while it lasted, but now you find yourself mourning the loss of your dating partner. Yes, it happens all the time.  It doesn’t matter how or where you met your partner (using a dating service or not), but sometimes things simply don’t work out for a variety of reasons. If you have recently gone through a breakup with your dating  partner, allow yourself time to grieve. But don’t wallow in self-pity for too long.  You’ll need to get right back on the horse as soon as you feel able.

Breaking up is never easy; it doesn’t matter whether the relationship was long or short term since the pain of losing someone you care about is traumatic. There really isn’t any secret remedy to expedite the healing from a breakup. You will have to mourn your loss and get through the days as best as you can. You will probably be feeling very sad, and that’s okay. Don’t try to get over something quickly if you’re not quite ready to move on. This means, if you don’t want to start dating right away, then it is okay to wait until you feel stronger and ready to return to the dating world.

During this period, it’s best to keep yourself as busy as possible. Find fun and friendly ways to distract yourself from thinking of the breakup. Get together with your friends; find new activities to engage in; take a class; or begin a project that you’ve always wanted to start. Exercising is also a great way to relieve stress and not only does it help you with the grieving process, you’ll wind up getting in terrific shape at the same time.

Don’t feel bad or guilty for feeling down or blue. It’s perfectly normal. No matter what happened, rejection is a hard thing to deal with. For whatever reason, you and your ex decided to part ways. Don’t suddenly second-guess your decision and backslide into what might be a bad partnership. Respect the decision that you both made and do the best you can to begin the healing process and move forward.  This doesn’t mean partying every night and sleeping with every person who comes along. Only you know what feels right for you; but if you don’t allow yourself to mourn, you will never fully get over the loss.

The bottom line is to treat yourself well. Treat yourself the same way you would treat a friend who was going through a rough time. Pamper yourself if you can, but don’t stay down for too long. If the relationship was a short one, the mourning process should be short too. You must remember that everything happens for a reason, and if this particular relationship didn’t work out, it means you will be open for the right partner to enter your life. So buck up, buckaroo, life will get good again. When we learn how to navigate the ups and downs of life, we become stronger for it. You will be stronger and you will find someone new.  Someone better. Someone who is just right for you.

About the Author

Debbie Lamedman is an avid dating blogger. She frequently writes about dating and dating services for She is highly sought after by friends and bloggers for relationship advice.


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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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