Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


How to Handle Your Husband through Midlife Crisis

by Mike Zhang

Generally, a person’s midlife spans from 40 to 65 years. It really depends more on the physical and emotional status of the individual. If your husband thinks that he already experienced half of his life and is not satisfied with what he has accomplished, then he will start having a midlife crisis.

As a supportive wife, you will need to handle this season of his life well. Here are tips on how to do it.

Midlife Crisis

Accept the Fact that Your Husband Is Having a Midlife Crisis.

You should never treat a midlife crisis as something that is light and easy to solve. It is no laughing matter for husbands who are currently in this season. According to a phone survey conducted at Cornell University, 25 percent of men experience a midlife crisis.

If you are validating his feelings, you are giving him a safe environment wherein he can freely talk about his feelings and concerns. You are allowing him to open up to you without being judged or condemned.

Treating him as someone who is distressed with his life can also push you to be more assertive in alleviating his anxieties and burdens. You put it upon yourself to help your husband get through his predicament.

Change is Good.

It may not feel right at first, especially if the changes that he experiences are not great. Wrinkles on the face, backaches, illnesses, missed opportunities, career moves, life decisions—these are just some of the changes that your husband may see in the mirror.

At the onset, some changes in his life may not seem good. He may feel like he has made some incorrect choices in his life, particularly in regard to his family, his job, and himself.

Appreciate him more during this time. Assure him that everything is going to be okay because you and your husband are together, facing anything that comes your way. Change may be the only thing that is constant in the world, but you should also tell him that you will always be with him to face these changes.

Do Recreational Activities Together.

To keep his mind off his midlife crisis, you can choose to do some fun activities together. Biking, hiking, and other outdoor hobbies are nice choices that you can both do. Even if you are not used to doing these kinds of pastimes, getting out of the house and experiencing your environment and smelling the fresh air can bring new life to your husband.

Do you know that doing stuff together also creates a deeper connection between couples? If you are doing things together, you are able to know more about your spouse. You can see him in a different light.

These activities also provide a way for you to talk and communicate with your husband. You will understand his feelings more. By connecting with him, you are also relieving his worries and concerns about the next chapter of his life.

Ask Him About His Fears and Reservations.

The simplest way to handle your husband’s midlife crisis is just to sit him down and ask him about it. What are his doubts in life? Does he have uncertainties that he cannot figure out? Is there any fear that he is anticipating in this period of time?

By understanding what is going on in his mind, you will be more in tune with what he is thinking about and can make recommendations on what he needs to do. You can know the right things to say to encourage him and make him more comfortable and stress-free.

You can also avoid conversations that will remind him of his midlife crisis. Instead, you can keep him focused on what is really important: his own well-being and his family.

Learn More About His Standards.

Men usually set standards about what they need to achieve in particular sections of their lives. This may be in terms of career, family, sexual satisfaction, and overall happiness.

If your husband is not able to reach his goals and standards, he becomes disappointed with his life. Ask him about his aspirations and dreams. Know more about his future plans for your family. Inquire about his views on joy and gladness.

After intently listening and taking notes of his standards, you can then reassure your husband that he is doing well. Tell him that you are very pleased that you chose him as your husband. Appease him by sharing your satisfaction with his intimacies. You can also say to him that you will support him every step of the way.

Give More Attention to Him.

Since your husband is having problems right now, you should give more time and energy to him. You can focus more on his needs as your spouse. Cater to his wants as much as possible.

About the Author

Mike Zhang is the Founder of FamilyLifeShare. FamilyLifeShare aims to share cool knowledge and unique experience about family life, marriage, love, relationships, parenting, and life tips.

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