Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing

Guest Blogger

Rules For Life – Don’t Confuse Yourself For Selfish

by Ken La Salle

Welcome back to my continuing series of Rules For Life.

Last year, I wrote about some of the big rules, rules that help us understand the big picture of life. Things are going to change a bit this year as I turn the focus from the big picture and look, instead, at rules that help us in our daily routine.

During the next year, I’ll talk about rules you may run into every day, rules that help us make sense of the little things, rules that help us get along with people we see on a daily basis as well as people we don’t, yet, know.
And where would that start????????????????????????????????

Strange as it may sound, it began for me on the very same day I was supposed to write this article. That was Friday. I’m writing this on Monday.

Friday afternoon, as I prepared myself for writing, I went through my usual routine, which includes checking the Internet for any similar articles or articles that may refute my point. Unfortunately, my browser kept crashing and then, from out of nowhere, my Word files began crashing.

What I didn’t know at the time and didn’t find out until today was that my hard drive was in the process of suffering a very permanent death.

As a writer, my entire life was on that drive. That drive contained all of my books, my podcasts, my videos, and more. It contained all of the work I had done and all of the work that I still had to do. I had future books outlined and ready to write. I had finished projects no one had seen.

All of it was now gone.

I had invested in a backup drive but, unfortunately, my backup drive was only one terabyte in size. (What a thing to write: “Only one terabyte.” Yeesh!) So, I had to limit what I backed up. What little went on my drive is by no means secure or available; I’ll find that out when my computer is returned with a new hard drive, etc.

I spent all weekend considering just how important everything was that I lost and wondering why I hadn’t invested a few dollars each month to keep my data safe. Why hadn’t I?

I’ll tell you why I hadn’t. I hadn’t spent the money because I always thought something else was more important. Worse, I had always thought someone else was more important.

This is a bad habit of mine, one I plan to change right away, and one you may be able to learn from. We are often told in the stories we read or just opinions we hear that we shouldn’t be selfish. We shouldn’t put the focus on ourselves.

But, you know what? That’s not always such a great thing. Sometimes, it’s actually a good idea to be a little selfish. Or, better yet, it’s a good idea to understand that thinking of yourself is not always a selfish act. I know it’s one I plan to keep in mind.

There are just going to be times when you need to consider yourself. That’s not the same as being selfish. Selfish people think ONLY of themselves; you can take care of yourself and not be selfish.

And so, I plan to learn from this event and follow this rule. From now on, if I need something, I’m going to get it. I won’t confuse wanton desire with need and I won’t think less of myself simply for taking care of myself.
When you refuse to build your own safety net, you often find nothing to catch you when the bottom falls out. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed by your needs. We all have them.

Starting right now, that will be one of my every day Rules For Life.

About the Author

Author and Playwright, Ken La Salle grew up in Santa Ana, California and has remained in the surrounding area his entire life. He was raised with strong, blue-collar roots, which have given him a progressive and environmentalist view. As a result, you’ll find many of his stories touching those areas both geographically and philosophically. His plays have been seen in theaters across the country and you can find a growing number of books available online. Find out more about Ken on his website at Ken La Salle is represented by Loiacono Literary Agency, LLC.

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