Loving the Dream…

Guest Blogger: Ken La Salle

I finished writing a new novel a while back and, as I usually do, I gave a copy of it to my mom to read. She said, “You must really love writing.”

“Why?” I asked. “Why would you say that?”

“Because you’ve been doing it now for so many years.”

I met her fairly reasonable assumption with a reflex I had developed after many years of struggling to make it as a writer: denial. “No,” I said. “It’s more of a love/hate relationship, but without the love.”

Only later did I realize that I was falling into the same trap I had talked about in my previous blog: becoming wrapped up in the drama of my dream rather than embracing the dream itself. It had become more important for me to hold my dream at an arm’s length, as if to somehow distance myself from what I saw as the disappointment of not yet achieving it, than to simply accept the obvious.

The fact is I have been writing for quite a few years now, about twenty or so. In that time, I have put aside other dreams for the opportunity to pursue my dream of being a writer. I was an actor for a while but put that aside for writing. I sang in a couple of bands but decided, in the end, that writing was more important to me. In those years, I’ve written many plays and novels, articles for magazines and blogs such as this. All of this creates a mountain of evidence that requires me to face the question: Why couldn’t I just admit I love writing; that I love my dream?

Sometimes, we put a lot of energy into distancing ourselves from those things that we’re afraid will cause us the most pain. This happens in relationships with people, where we’re simply afraid to face the ramifications of what it would mean to love someone. That’s exactly what happened to me with my writing.

Once I allowed myself to admit it, to say, “I love this dream of being a writer,” I realized how much greater it is to own that love and fully embrace that dream. For me, there are few things as fulfilling as constructing a well-conceived argument. Building a joke is a lot of fun, both when I’m chuckling at the keyboard writing it and when I’m listening to an audience enjoy it later. When I put down the final words to a novel, I am both full and set free at the same time. My dream of being a writer is so fulfilling that I have pushed other equally viable dreams away; I have made being a writer synonymous with being me to the point where most people know me by my writer’s name these days; but most important to this article is that I have decided to put aside all the absurdities of fear and ego and admit that I love my dream.

And so, I encourage you to do so as well. You may find that the bigger your dream is the harder it is to embrace and to love and maybe you won’t want to do it all at once. You can start by admitting that if you hated it, you would never have made it yours. Then, you can remind yourself of all the little things that are so cool about it, things that make it exciting for you, things that help you through the rough times when it may just be you and your dream alone. And, perhaps, you remind yourself that you chose this dream for a reason and you’ve toughed it out, and you’ll continue toughing it out, working toward making your dream a reality—so why not just admit it belongs to you? Finally, perhaps after some while, you’ll come to the conclusion that I found myself arrive at after that conversation with my mother some time ago. You’ll embrace your dream, which means embracing your life and yourself, and know that it is worthy of love.

That way, if you later find it somewhat “love/hate”, you’ll know it’s not completely one-sided.

About the Author

Ken La Salle

Novelist and Playwright, Ken La Salle grew up in Santa Ana, California and has remained in the surrounding area his entire life. He was raised with strong, blue-collar roots, which have given him a progressive and environmentalist view. As a result, you’ll find many of his stories touching those areas both geographically and philosophically. He’s also very funny. His plays are often seen in theaters on the west coast of the U.S. and many of his books can be found in ebook format on Amazon.com (for the Kindle) and Smashwords.com(for all e-reader formats). Ken La Salle is represented by Sullivan Maxx Literary Agency

• Ken La Salle