Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing


4 Important Ways in Keeping Divorce at Bay

Guest Blogger: Angelina Macariola

In recent years, statistics regarding divorce has been increasing throughout the world. Even though this may be true, I believe that there are certain steps to be taken in order to build a strong and stable marriage in order to avoid divorce. Below are some summarized tips on reasons why people divorce and how to avoid this from happening.

1. Be Aware and Understand

One can never be too aware about the proper methods, tools, and studies in creating a successful marriage. Being able to understand risk factors such as the maturity and age within marriage though can be a determining aspect of how successful it is going to be; dissecting an affair and what each of you can do after infidelity. Understanding factors of success such as psychological and personal circumstances is going to be helpful in influencing the marriage, which tools and ways of approach are available in confronting conflict and a host of other related data.

You can get information about this from support groups, counselors, and even from self-help materials. One thing that you should remember is that the information given to you by supportive people is not for you to start psychoanalyzing your relationship with your partner. Spewing out trivia to them in order to get a conversation going is not how it should be; but the information is given to let you ponder and help you internalize so that you can transform yourself first and then your marriage next. This also includes maturing to a point that you become confident in your knowledge but even more prudent in your approach.

2. A Solid Marriage Requires Constant Effort

Good marriages do not just fall from the sky or come out of pages in a romantic novel; they are made. The bad thing is that there are a lot of couples today that still believe everything will turn out fine once they are already married. The truth is, no matter how lovely and adorable the wedding turned out to be, hard work should come right after in marriage for it to be successful.

Marriage is not something that will last just for a short time but one should expect years and even until the dying day that both of you will still be together. That is why there shouldn’t be any slacking off and this does not mean that you have to stress yourself every day in order to please your spouse. It is a matter of being mutually committed to be focused on each other, spending time together, communicating properly, setting goals and planning as a couple, putting up guidelines and sticking to them, dealing with kids, and so on and so forth.

One should not also forget that passion, intimacy, and romance should still be kept up in marriage, even if both of you may not be synchronized on some days. What makes this even more interesting is that a couple who has put in this kind of effort will tend to develop almost a 6th sense as to what the desires and needs of their partner are.

3. Commitment

Notice how happiness was not one of the key factors that I have mentioned in creating a successful marriage nor is it just love by itself. As you can see or have experienced personally, happiness visits and goes and can take a lot of different forms. Love may grow, decrease, develop, and is one of the given factors in a married relationship. On the other hand, commitment is something that people invest in order to understand, muster, and renew consistently. It is the one that remains constant during sad and happy moments, through passion or conflict. Commitment is the one that lets individuals feel that they should stay and want to stay or they have to stay.

Unfortunately, not all couples realize that commitment is a decision to be made. It is a person’s act of choice for being a mature individual that will show how they will be available for their partner. It is not just based on impulse or is something extra but is the true foundation within any relationship.

4. You Have the Power

Many people believe in the saying that mature individuals are the ones who secure mature and lasting marriages. What many people do not realize is that, within any given thing, even in a relationship of love, you have the power to take responsibility and decide on your actions. Most people are getting swept away by their tides of emotion whenever the going gets tough instead of reacting or providing a solution to the situation they are in. Whenever a temptation is present, it is not the one that lets you do the deed; you are still the one who will decide on that. A fulfilling and happy relationship starts with you.

This also means that a lot of self-work must be done by you. Learning to love yourself, being more mature, and working out your issues one step at a time is a good start for this. All of these are also part of growing into a successful marriage aside from growing up individually. Your partner may have some issues of their own that they will have to deal with themselves or will make them give up under the pressure of the circumstances. But whatever happens, there is still you that is there for them when this time comes.

Overall, these are just four of the general marriage tips that people should know about even if they are not yet contemplating divorce. One should learn about the techniques given and apply the methods on how to become more responsible and mature in their married life. There are still many minor details that you can find in each tip and you can also explore this with your spouse in order to build a successful marriage.

About the Author

Angelina Macariola writes for Broadband Expert in topics such as technology and wireless internet. During her free time, she researches the latest news on these topics and also guest posts for many technology blogs.

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