Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing

Relationships

Dating Red Flags for Single Parents

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If you are a single parent re-entering the dating scene, your list of priorities when committing to a serious relationship will datingbe significantly different than when you were single and had no children. The person you are dating needs to find a comfortable way to fit into your routine. Whether you are recently divorced or have been a single parent for years, there are many red flags you want to keep your eye out for when dating. Below are a few red flags that should alert you that the person you are dating may not be the best fit for you and your family.

It’s Moving Too Fast

Everyone enjoys the feeling of meeting someone and connecting on an intellectual and romantic level. While it is natural to want to spend as much time as you can with your new romantic interest, it is important to build a strong foundation before moving things along too quickly. When you first meet someone new, you are often on your best behavior; the same goes for the person you are dating. If you feel like the relationship is moving too fast, even if everything feels right, let your love interest know you would like things to slow down a bit.

He or She Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries as a Parent

As a single parent you will need to determine what boundaries you want to set between your new love interest and your children. These boundaries could include when you will introduce him or her to your children, how much time he or she spends with your children, whether or not he or she is allowed to spend the night, and whether or not he or she is able to participate in disciplinary conversations with your children. As a parent, it is your right to set boundaries for the level of interaction and communication you expect between your romantic interest and your children. If your new love interest does not respect your boundaries as a parent, it is a major red flag.

He or She Doesn’t Try to Connect with Your Children

Introducing your new romantic interest to your children may not always go smoothly. It can be difficult for both your children and your romantic interest to know what to say and how to act. This may be particularly difficult if this is the first relationship you have been in since your divorce or separation. While there may be bumps in the road, it is imperative that your romantic interest makes a genuine attempt to connect with your children. This could be asking them questions about school, asking about their hobbies and friends, and participating in age-appropriate activities that you can all do together.

He or She is Secretive

Dating someone who is secretive is a red flag regardless of whether or not you have children. However, it is of particular importance if you have children because your first goal should be to protect them. If you feel as if the person you are dating is being secretive or dishonest, have a direct conversation with him or her about your concerns. If he or she is not able to answer the necessary questions about his or her dating life, employment, criminal record, financial standing, or past, it is a major red flag.

For single parents, dating will take on a whole new meaning. By being honest with yourself, and by putting you and your family first, you can identify red flags that will help keep your family unit strong, safe, and secure.

About the Author

Samantha Greenbaum is a single-parent with experience in the dating scene. She understands that unexpected personal situations can impact all kinds of families, and recommends the trusted services of OK Bail Bonds if your loved ones are ever arrested.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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