Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing

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Relationships

4 Things That Tear a Family Apart

by Aleksandre McMenamin

Tired novice parents.

The bond of family is an incredibly powerful one. A family is essentially a naturally built-in support structure for your life, and to lose track of that is to destroy the foundation of livelihood in the modern world. Life without family is much more prone to chaos, in some way. A family will always be there for you. And in turn, you must always be there for them. There are many aspects of life that can be threats to this connection. Sometimes it is an active action that ends up destroying a family, but other times it is simply just the attitude of certain members. In certain instances, it may not have anything to do with the people at all! Here’s a list of several things that have the capacity to pull a family apart…

1. Addiction

Addiction is one of the most powerful and disastrous diseases affecting the planet today. It destroys millions of lives around the planet each year. Also, contrary to the mindset that an addict might have, drug addiction doesn’t just affect the addict, but everyone around them who loves and cares for them. Continuous activity of drug addiction will drive a family apart over time. There is simply no way that a family life can be sustained in that condition. Eventually, the destructive tendencies of addiction will break those familial bonds. That is why it’s important to show an addict support, early on. Remember that addiction is a disease that needs to be treated as soon as possible. Ideally, addiction should be fought as a family, but many people can’t risk having drug abuse around family elements, such as children. This creates a difficult tightrope walk for families to cross. For more information about drug addiction in families, check out this link here.

2. Adultery

 

One of the most trying emotional blows that a relationship can be dealt comes when a loved one cheats on their spouse. This situation generates a great deal of emotional despair, and it can be incredibly difficult to carry on when your relationship becomes the greatest source of pain in your life. Perhaps, the biggest damage that adultery causes to the family is that it is a breach of trust. It makes it hard to feel like there is any foundation in the relationship at all. And if that is the case, then why even continue onward with it? However, adultery doesn’t necessarily have to tear a family apart. Nobody is perfect, certainly, and that must be remembered in these situations. In general, most people are deserving of second chances. However, in the end it may just be too difficult for the party who was hurt, in which case there isn’t much left to do but let it end.

3. Abuse

One thing that absolutely should never be tolerated in any family dynamic is abuse, whether it be physical or emotional. While many other situations that can ruin a family can be worked out, any relationship absolutely should end in the event of abuse. No person should ever have to suffer abuse, and in many family dynamics they may be experiencing it over long periods of time, which wears away at a person. If you happen to be the person committing the abuse in your family, you absolutely need to stop. There is absolutely no reason to engage in such malicious behavior. While there may be times when an abuser changes and grows up, that doesn’t mean that a person, or their children, should have to suffer while they do.

4. Lack of quality time
Being a family is, at its essence, about quality time. Spending time with your family to build stronger connections and relationships is one of the most important aspects to becoming a more well-rounded person. Such activity inspires personal growth, and is absolutely essential when raising kids. Failing to spend a good deal of quality time with your family gives them no way to know who you are, thus putting their perception of you in a general state of apathy. This will cause fundamental issues with the relationships that people have with their children, and may end up causing long term alienation that will be hard to reverse.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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