Recovering after a Traumatic Event
There are things that happen in life that define us, they can be amazing celebrations or tragic events. Sometimes we get to choose the amazing parts of our life but the tragedies are thrust upon us. Each event changes us for better or for worse, and even though it feels as if we have no choice in the way it changes us, we must remember that we do indeed have a choice.
I have read about the stages of grief; sometimes it can be helpful to read about what we are feeling and try and make sense of it. But more often than not our feelings don’t happen in a particular order and seem to blur together in a psychedelic hodgepodge of emotions. We all deal with tragedy in different ways but we all end up in one of two places. We either come to terms with these emotions after time or we choose not to.
I had a series of tragic events take place in my life, one right after another. It was as if the dominoes fell in perfect alignment down the corridors of my life. First there was a separation from which I felt betrayed, confused, and oh, so angry. Not too long after that I was in a serious automobile accident, no doubt that it was brought on from the previous emotional condition. With the accident came a new set of emotions, guilt for not being there for my children, loss because of the physical damage sustained in the accident, and overwhelming terror as to how I would get things back to any normalcy. I had trouble making the right decisions, I allowed people and things into my life that should not have been.
There was pile upon pile of emotions at this point, blending together like all the colors on a palette, and turning into only blackness. I was always aware that this place that I found myself wasn’t where I wanted to be. Sometimes when we find ourselves in this situation instead of crying out to those who love us for help, we tend to shun them. I found, at least in my situation, that it is true what they say about it being darkest before the light.
When you finally arrive at the bottom, there are many ways to find help. Loved ones, medical professionals, counselors, programs, and last but not least, God. As for me, when I reached this place in my emotional downward spiral, I cried out to my heavenly Father. I was so far down inside myself that I had nowhere else to go. I feel this was where he was waiting for me.
I had a relationship with the Lord all of my life and I always felt that our relationship was good. When we evaluate our relationship to God as we walk through our lives when everything is going smoothly, we don’t often see the shallowness of our hearts as we do during tragedy. I believe He uses these times in our lives to bring us closer to Him so that He can show us the depth of His love. He does not cause these things to happen to us, but He does allow them because He sees the emptiness in our lives that can only be filled by His presence.
I am aware that not everyone believes the same way. I am just sharing my story with you of how I was able to come out of one of the darkest parts of my life and become whole again; neither am I saying that it happened over night. Yes, He rescued me that hour, giving me a great sense of hope, light, and an overwhelming sense of His love. But the process of healing through the reading of the word of God and Him lifting me up by His great love has taken many years.
The important thing in recovering from tragedy is to indeed recover. If you find yourself in this dark place, you need to force yourself to reach out for help. Only in coming out of self and reaching out for help can we ever begin to heal.
Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, Babysitting, nanny, www.enannysource.com/ etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015 @ gmail.com.