Guest Blogger: Katy Reeve

Setting unachievable goals right at beginning make you feel tired before you could actually achieve something. Try to understand that not every work can have a mark of perfection especially if you are in the learning stage. Others obsessed about perfection may consider leaving a work in the middle if it doesn’t seem good enough to earn awards. They say it is not the destination as much as the journey that counts. Try to complete whatever you start and don’t leave it just because you feel it’s not perfect. The obsession for perfection can destroy your self-esteem and prevent you from discovering your capabilities.

Setting unrealistic goals

How many times have your nose-dived into a project and soon after decided to quit? Think again! You may be setting unrealistic goals that are neither practical nor possible. Such goals will only increase your exhaustion. Go slow and steady so that you can pick up possible risks and avoid them on the way. Amanda also had one such unrealistic goal when she decided to take aerobics to trim some fat and come in shape. However, her mistake was that she went for advanced aerobics right in the beginning.

After a few days at the gym, she became so tired that she gave up the idea completely. She was so exhausted from the hard training sessions that she never bothered to join for several months. Make sure you are not in a habit of quitting too often. This could possibly mean that your goals are unrealistic. Start slow and small to work up the ladder!

Giving a tough time to yourself

In just about every aspect of life, there are some small steps involved. You have to work through them to reach the final result. However, many people just focus on the rewards and end result and we perceive that is the only success. In reality, that must not be the case. You must acknowledge all the small steps you took towards the goal. Give yourself some credit for each step you took no matter how small and effortless it was. This will prevent you from the self-defeating behavior that results from perfectionism. Behavior modification technique is another way to address this issue.

Desire and impatience to know everything

Rule out the possibility that you can find all answers in one day. Even if you do, it will only confuse you and prevent you from making a decision. Let’s consider the example of Alex who wanted to invest so that he could have savings for the future. He conducted a thorough research from books, and internet. As a result, he was more puzzled than ever before knowing all the answers. Now it was the fear of knowing everything that made him unpredictable. Therefore, he was unwilling to take risks. Knowing everything is part of perfectionism but at times, it ruins your chances of success.

I don’t need help

There is a possibility that the problems we are facing today, someone else had dealt with the same problems in the past. Perhaps, they can help you or if they can’t, there is no point in hiding simply because they may already know what you are going through. If you are trying to fool anyone, then you are fooling no one other than yourself. With every action, we send out a message that the people around us happen to pick and most of the time their assumptions are correct. Usually people hide their problems out of embarrassment and they believe that they can take care of it on their own. We assume that we are perfect and we don’t seek help. In reality, every one of us will require help.

Act what you are not

One of the aspects of perfectionist attitude is that it demands you to follow the rules of the society and do everything according to standards. This means you have to adopt career and pastimes that are acceptable around you. Nothing in your life is much according to your choice. This act of yours can often make you look what you are not. You would always have to act to be accepted in the society. This self-defeating attitude will take you away from your own goals since you will be suppressing your dreams to act according to norms.

Predicting outcomes

We never know how a given situation could unfold. However, most of us will act as fortunetellers trying to predict how bad an outcome could be. When we make decisions based on these predictions, the ending situation is disastrous. Consider the situation of Simon who sabotaged a perfect relationship just because he was confident about his predictions. Do you feel you are experienced enough to predict outcomes? Try not to test your fortune-telling instincts on relationships, or bigger matters. Let’s just say that intuition can be harmful in this case.

About the Author

Katy is an avid blogger who is deeply motivated by exercises and modern fitness tools to stay in shape. Reading through her articles is an exhilarating experience for those who seek motivation in life. Follow Katy on Twitter @KatyReeve92.

Guest Blogger: Madyson Grant 

People who are using drugs or alcohol continue to need them because the drugs or alcohol makes them feel good, or it might be stopping them from feeling so bad. In most circumstances, there is an extremely fine line drawn between regular use of drugs and drug addiction or abuse. Most addicts never really know when they have crossed the line into abuse and addiction. Even though the frequency of drugs used is not what constitutes the addiction or drug abuse, oftentimes, they are true indicators that help is needed for drug problems. How can you recognize when it is time for help?

Problems Begin Building Up

Small problems will begin to build up to larger problems as your use of drugs increases over time. When you share a joint with your friends on the weekend or taking a bit of ecstasy or cocaine at a party, it can gradually change to the drug use becoming more and more of a need.

When the Drug Becomes a Need

If the drug you choose is beginning to fill an important need, you might start relying on it. For example, if you are taking the drugs to calm you down, because you feel stressed and anxious, to energize you because you are depressed, or to make you feel more confident when you are typically shy, you might begin relying on it. If you are using prescription drugs to relieve pain or to help you cope with drugs, it can become a problem until you find an alternate or healthier method to replace the drug.

When the Drug Fills a Void

If you are using a specific drug to fill an empty space in your life, you are at a higher risk of crossing over from casual drug use to abuse and addiction with drugs. To have a healthy balance in life, you should find other ways to have positive life experiences besides drug use.

When You Neglect Work and Family Obligations

When you begin to have a more serious problem with drugs or alcohol, you might start missing work or show up late for your job or school. Your school work or job performance will begin to deteriorate, and you will begin to neglect your family and social obligations. You will notice that your ability to stop using the drug is compromised. What begins as a casual and voluntary choice becomes a psychological ad physical need.

The good news is that a Utah rehab facility is available to give you the right support and treatment you need. The Utah rehab center will help you counteract the bad effects of your drug use and teach you how to take back control of your life. First, you must admit and recognize you have the problem. Help is available.

About the Author
Madyson Grant is a small business owner and a professional writer. Her passion for helping others fuels her writing and her search for more helpful information.

Guest Blogger: Dave Bonner 

It seems that the more tools available to help Americans manage their time and energy, the less time and energy they have left at the end of the day. The ability to do more has translated into a requirement to get more done, and all the shortcuts that more efficient technology or forums solutions provide only increase the amount of ground you have to cover before the day ends. Being able to find the information to get the job done isn’t enough. You also need to be able to draw the line with time management to determine what you can get done with regards to what you actually have to get done.

By the time you’ve finished your workday, worrying about housecleaning can be overwhelming. There are great options for a housecleaning guide to help you focus your efforts across the week, so that a little bit can be taken care of each day. If you let it slide one day into the next, you may find your unfinished housecleaning tips the scales and forfeits what little free time you had available to relax.

There are a lot of ways to make your housekeeping needs fit into even the most demanding schedule. Timing your day so that small chores can be knocked out as part of your morning routine can help lighten the load. Having quick solutions ready in the event of an immediate need can save you in the long run too. Some simple stain removal tips can go a long way, rather than having to worry about all the time you lose cleaning up a stain once it’s really set. A stain removal guide can be a useful tool, but sometimes your workload calls for a lot more than that.

For a lot of Americans, bringing in expert help can prove the most efficient solution to a workload that can be overwhelming. Just like any other task that you would routinely call in an expert to handle, hiring a cleaning services professional can save you both time and money in the long run. Whether you invest the time you’ve saved back into your job or into a well-deserved break, you’ll find out what many Americans have already learned: a little help goes a long way toward maintaining your sanity. With all the many things that demand your attention, keeping a good balance can prove difficult. But with the right help, you’ll find balance is worth more than you might think.

About the Author

Dave Bonner lives with his beautiful wife in the western Philadelphia suburbs. His wife is completing her PhD, while Dave holds the walls up doing double duty as a small business owner and, when possible, “stay at home dad” to their adorable eleven-month-old puppy, Ally. A recovering workaholic, Dave’s wife and puppy have helped him realize the incredible value of taking a day off once in a while.

Guest Blogger: Bobby Rouse  

Testosterone is also present in women. It is very important in their health because it is contributing to their overall health. Testosterone is responsible for strengthening the bones, developing the muscle mass, and increasing the energy level. It is also very important in strengthening and enhancing a woman’s libido. When it comes to sexual activities, testosterone is responsible in increasing the mood of the woman. Aside from what is mentioned above, here are the other benefits of testosterone in women:

• Improves mental alertness
• Improves the skin in a way that it blocks it from wrinkles
• Improves the condition of the heart by decreasing the risk of heart disease and diabetes
• Helps in losing weight
• Enhances younger look for women

With enough testosterone and estrogen in women, it would be easier for her to live her everyday life to the fullest. Compared to men, women need lesser amount of testosterone but it is very important for them to maintain the normal level of it in order to maintain their health.

Low testosterone

Low testosterone is not a problem that only men can experience. It is also common in women. Low testosterone can affect aging in women. With the given benefits above, you would most likely understand how low testosterone affects the overall health of a woman. For you to understand better, here are the different symptoms that will let you know that a woman is losing great amount of testosterone in her body:

• There is an obvious decrease in the muscle mass
• There is rapid weight gain, especially on the belly part
• The skin is dry, sagging, and it loses elasticity
• Her sexual drive is low
• The energy is also decreasing
• Bone loss

These different symptoms usually come into picture when a woman reaches 40. During this time, low and unstable level of testosterone can also affect menopausal cycle. Low testosterone in women affects the way the menopause is triggered. When confronted by more stress everyday, low testosterone becomes a reason for early menopausal that may start during their 30s.

Remedies to low testosterone

Here are the things that a woman can do to maintain normal level of testosterone:

• Work on your weight. It is very important for women to have that healthy figure in order to maintain normal level of testosterone.
• Engage yourself in a regular exercise. It is very important for you to understand that exercise is very important in maintaining a fit and healthy body, therefore increasing your ability to maintain healthy testosterone level.
• Know the vitamins and minerals that are needed. There are foods that are rich in testosterone-enhancing minerals and that include oyster and green leafy vegetables. Zinc, protein, and Vitamins A and C are very important in increasing the level of testosterone.
• Stay away from stress. If you are living a stressful life every day, you are increasing the possibility for you to an imbalanced testosterone level. This is the same with men and women.

Testosterone in women is very important from a health point of view. Now that you are aware about the different facts about it, you can deal with it easily.

About the Author

Bobby Rouse works at Ageless- specializes in Low-T treatment for men. We are dedicated to help clients with low testosterone levels to lose years of age, and increase client’s performance on a day-to-day basis.

SCOTTISH WILDCAT

Far back in the history of Scotland clans formed together under the image of the wildcat and fought wars for the independence of the land. Today the evidence suggests less than 100 Scottish wildcats remain in the wild and the extinction of Britain’s last large mammal predator could come within the next year.  Click here to make a difference!

Guest Blogger: Dixie Somers

A shopping addiction is a serious problem in America. Shopping can be a way to cope with stress or feel a momentary high, which can classify it as an addiction. If you’re struggling with a shopping obsession, here are 5 steps to helping you deal with it.

1. Cancel Open Credit Lines

Credit cards make it extremely easy for anyone to overextend themselves while shopping. One of the best ways to curb the impulse to shop is to cancel all of a shopper’s credit cards. An over-shopper will be far more hesitant to spend when they don’t have an open credit line to charge. Paying for everything in cash is extremely inconvenient, and the time that it takes to get to an ATM may give a shopper enough time to rethink their purchase. Most shopping addictions are fed by impulse, so just a few minutes of extra time can be invaluable in changing their mind.

2. Sell the Excess

Many people who have a shopping addiction also have many items at home that they never needed but had to buy. One great way to start recovering from a shopping addiction is to sell of all of these items. A shopping addiction isn’t just about buying things; it’s also about having these things. Getting rid of things online is extremely easy through online auction houses. Specific items such as mens printed and patterned t-shirts can be sold at an auction house in a batch to get them out of the house quickly and to get some money back into the bank. Online market places like eBay can also be used.

3. Avoid Shopping Triggers

Avoiding environments and triggers that cause shopping can be important to treat the addiction. People who shop when stressed should try to treat their stress while they are treating their addiction directly. Those who can’t help but shop when they are in the area should avoid highly commercial areas such as the mall.

4. Cancel Online Accounts

The internet makes it easier than ever to buy things on impulse and online. A shopper who knows that they have an addiction should cancel their online shopping accounts immediately. This will make it more difficult for them to complete a transaction if they want to. If the addiction is particularly strong, the shopper can also choose to block these sites entirely.

5. Be Honest

Shoppers that are suffering from a shopping addiction should be honest and open with their friends and family about it. Friends and family who do not know about a shopping addiction may inadvertently contribute to it by inviting the shopper out to the mall or asking the shopper to buy things with or for them. Friends and family can be instrumental in helping the shopper end their addiction and take control over their finances again.

About the Author

This article was written by Dixie Somers. Dixie is a freelance writer who enjoys writing often for the health, family, and business niches.

Guest Blogger: Victory Lean 

Living a green lifestyle has come along way in the last few decades. Once considered a fad, green living has moved from being more than just a trend into an effective lifestyle for individuals and families that fully embrace the process.

What is Green Living?

Simply stated, green living requires stewardship in caring for everything an individual purchases, eats, uses or consumes and the effect it has on nature and the earth. Incorporating green living as a natural way of existing requires consumers to make conscious decisions on purchases they make every day. They need to understand the effect their actions have on the world and the environment around them.

Many people incorporate green living as a natural way of life for a variety of reasons. Most understand that all of the resources that are found on earth are finite. This means that once they have been consumed, processed, mined or used, they will be forever gone. Without curbing our appetite or finding some alternative, most of the resources that we all have become highly dependent upon will sometime in the future be completely depleted. Similar to the extinction of animal species, once a natural resource has been completely depleted, its existence will be gone forever.

Conserving Resources

By conserving resources, the way we live life can remain stable for now. Green living provides a variety of benefits to the community, the family and the individual. It can be accomplished in a variety of ways from simple adjustments in daily living (reusing a grocery bag) to making the most out of renewable resources (installing solar panels or driving hybrid cars).

Many individuals consider living green as the only sensible way of existing. Many of the items in our daily world are reusable in its current form. These include grocery bags, drinking containers, and other items.

The lifestyle centered around living green is based on minimalism. More than just the types of products that are purchased, it is the minimal amount of purchases individuals make that helps to reinforce a green living lifestyle. Having enough, or being content with what an individual has will help make the most out of all the resources that are available, while providing enough for everyone.

Specific Guidelines

What you eat, what you want, what you can do on your own, and how you can make the most out of recycled materials are the basis of living a green lifestyle. Each one specifically includes:

• What You Eat – Individuals that live a green lifestyle watch what they purchase, grow and consume. They focus on purchasing locally grown organic foods and meats from those that live in their community and the surrounding area. The green living individual understands the process of growing the fruits and vegetables and raising farm animals, along with the pesticides and hormones that are incorporated into the process. They read labels on every product they consume and avoid foods that have been overly processed.
• What You Want – Individuals and families that incorporate green living into their lifestyle will avoid impulse buying. Deciding what they want is based more on what they need. This helps to consume less and conserve more. By purchasing only what is required, they save the planet’s resources for the future.
• What You Can Do – Whenever an item is broken, it might have the potential of being repaired or restored. Learning what an individual can do provides many do-it-yourself opportunities that save resources, and money. What an individual can do might also include the ability to grow their own foods and raise their own meat.
• Enhancing the Surroundings – Without continuing stewardship, the environment can get ugly very quickly. Cleaning up the surrounding area will improve the environment, while beautifying the area.
• Reuse, Reduce, Recycle – Green living individuals and families know how to make the best out of reducing what it is they need, reusing products that have alternative uses, and recycling every product they can. The recycling process is designed to help save the planet and create a better and stronger environment. Recycling often includes making better purchase selections including reusable grocery bags or shopping with a recycled basket. It can include reducing the need for fossil fuels by riding a bicycle or walking to the grocery store instead of driving the family car.

There are many significant ways to make small adjustments in daily living. This includes turning down the water heater, turning off the tap instead of letting it run, minimizing the idling of the car and many more simple reducing options.

Through a proactive approach, any home, family or individual can improve their daily life by reducing the amount of resources they require. As a benefit of adopting green living as a lifestyle choice, money can be saved, energy efficiency improved, and the need for resources reduced.

About the Author

Victory Lean is a writer at Di Cigs.com – an Electronic Cigarette showcase site. She likes to share lifestyle tips and advices for healthy living.

Guest Blogger: Melissa Miles McCarter

One of the consequences of having infertility and loss is my romanticizing motherhood. In 2003, my daughter died of SIDS; I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2004 and have struggled with secondary infertility ever since. The most joy I have had in life was during the month my daughter was alive. Because my joy was interrupted, I never got to feel any of the inevitable losses mothers go through. I never had to feel the loss of identity mothers often feel, never had to feel sad that my daughter was no longer my baby. Every month since that I haven’t been pregnant has made me feel like I would never feel joy again. I didn’t  realize that my joy would have been interrupted in other ways during mothering; that joy wasn’t what mothers only feel.

I became aware of a more realistic notion of motherhood through editing and publishing Joy, Interrupted: An Anthology on Motherhood and Loss. Many of the contributors wrote about the death of their child and infertility. But many others wrote about other forms of loss, whether through adoption, estrangement, individuation, and more. My view of loss was myopic before I read these pieces. I saw loss only in the context of not having a child; it has never occurred to me that loss was also part of mothering throughout a child’s life.

Thus, an important part of healing from my losses has been accepting what is, rather than being stuck in my longing. My life is no longer defined by nostalgia. I am learning to find joy in other ways, such as in step-mothering, getting a PhD, my relationship with my husband, and editing the anthology. I know it sounds clichéd to say that happiness means appreciating what you have rather than what you don’t have; but this has been a hard lesson for me to learn. My grief has been reset every month that the pregnancy stick has been negative, and I have continuously been catapulted into desperate longing.

Now, my longings have lessened. I still hope every month, but every month my cycle ends in blood, I know longer feel fatally wounded. My heart still aches when I think about my daughter, but I am also appreciative of the joy I felt when she was alive. I am learning to feel joy again.  Rather than obsessing over what isn’t, I am getting better at accepting what is.

Bereavement means defining yourself in a way that isn’t dependent on your loss. I am no longer just the mother whose child died, no longer just infertile. My life isn’t stuck in the negative.  Healing for me means seeing life as it is, not just what I want it to be.

Facing forward is hard for me. As a writer, the past has been important to me. Dwelling on my past has helped me make sense of now. But, I realize that I can get stuck in the past. One of the hardest parts of my early grieving was flashbacks of my daughter’s death. The puff of blood coming out of her nose, her body limp in my arms, the ambulance ride to the hospital, the moments waiting alone in a stark room at the hospital to see if she was alive or not; the haze of the funeral. My heart felt broken whenever a flash went through my mind.

Now I know that I was probably dealing with PTSD. I couldn’t help seeing these images over and over, getting stuck in the moment of the tragedy. Also, I realize that going over and over the moment of her death I kept wishing for it to be different. I wanted my prayers now to rewind time and make it be different. Being in the past meant time travelling and hoping to bend time to my will.

And infertility has also been a way of being stuck in what isn’t. Wanting to get pregnant every month meant being keenly aware of the disappointments I had already felt month after month. I braced myself, feeling like nothing would change, and I would be disappointed again. My pain now was determined by my pain then.

My current place in my grief journey is to look ahead and not feel trapped in what has been. I have hopes that aren’t dependent on replacing my past losses. I can imagine living with dampening pain, the heartache less intense, and moving toward joy once more. Accepting what is while wanting more is a delicate balance. It is my challenge, but I am facing forward once more.

About the Author

Dr. Melissa Miles McCarter lives in a small community of Arcadia Valley in Southeast Missouri, with her husband, Dr. William Matthew McCarter, step-son Britin, and pets (including their English bulldogs, Boss Hog and Daisy). In addition to being an author, Melissa is the publisher of a small press, Fat Daddy’s Farm. As an editor and publisher, Melissa’s goal is to help uncommon voices grow and flourish.

Guest Blogger: Krisca Te 

Death is an inevitable part of life and, as we age, the prevalence of death around us increases.

If they are lucky, loving couples spend many decades together. In the end, however, one person will almost always die before the other, so it’s important for those who care for the surviving, bereaved individual to know how to deal with the pain and sadness they are feeling.

The elderly are often reluctant to go to therapy and talk about their feelings, though they will speak, quite openly, with their friends and family. Experts say that the recalling of old, fond memories helps in the grieving process. Sometimes, when speaking alone is not enough, activities can help to distract the elderly individual from his or her sadness.

The first thing to do is to identify activities that your grandparent might enjoy. Are they more physically or mentally oriented? Are they more outgoing or introverted? Once you have determined this, it’s easy to suggest and, perhaps, participate with them in some of these activities.

Here are some fun things to do, which may help in your grandparent’s healing.

Crossword Puzzles – Does your grandparent like words? Just about every newspaper has a crossword puzzle. At first, completing a puzzle may be hard, but keeping at it and completing even a moderately difficult puzzle will bring them a great sense of accomplishment.

Computer – While some seniors are either averse to or simply ignorant of what’s taking place online, others may find this excellent fun.  If your grandparent has not been online, show them how to log on and point out some of the great resources available. How about sites, which feature games like solitaire or Scrabble? Genealogical destinations like Ancestry.com? Even historical sites where they can read about which battles Grandpa fought in during World War II or Grandma’s hometown in Italy all make for wonderful and edifying experiences.

Classes – Many universities offer extension courses that provide learning opportunities exclusively for the elderly. History, finance, even physical education courses can lead to a new avocation and possibly a new, productive life.
Writing – Encourage your grandparent to recall and write down their memories. This is another excellent way for them to recover from sadness and recall the happy days of yesteryear. If they find they enjoy writing, buy them a book that details how to write short stories or poetry.

Hobbies – Many seniors already have hobbies, though adding a few is a nice way to expand their horizons. For women, activities like knitting and jewelry crafting may add some fun and purpose. For men, golf and fishing may prove quite diverting.

Music – If your grandparent is musically inclined, find out which instrument he or she likes and give them one. You could be related to the next Jean-Pierre Rampal or Jascha Heifetz!

Water Exercises – There’s no better exercise for seniors than water aerobics. These are low-impact and will help to keep Grandma or Grandpa in shape.

Day Trips – Take your grandparent to a sporting event, a museum, a movie, a political rally, a theater stage play, or just some nice, quaint little town where they can relax and unwind.
Even when their spouse is gone, growing old does not have to mean the end of your grandparent’s happiness. Active seniors, through some of these activities, may even enjoy a new lease on life!

About the Author

Krisca Te works with Open Colleges, Australia’s leading provider of TAFE courses equivalent and provides Certificate III in Aged Care. When not working, you can find her on Google+ or spends the day with her baby boy.

Guest Blogger: Emily Smith 

Does moving through life seem robotic? You’re not alone. Our existence can be put on automatic — even to the point where we forget what a gift it is to be alive. Mindfulness and self-awareness are not default conditions for humanity. Active effort helps humans attain a heightened sense of existence, and the effort is well worth it. Truly experience life by adopting conscious awareness with these happiness pointers:

Know Yourself.

It seems simple to know who you are, but people thoughtlessly live and make decisions without recognizing and tapping into core values, personal philosophies, and identities. Do you feel lost personally, professionally or ethically? Feeling lost is a sign that you need to understand your own basic values on a deeper level. Ethical displacement ceases to be a dilemma if you’ve thoughtfully determined what you feel is right and wrong in your heart.

Exert Mental Energy Wisely.

Fixating on “whys” and “what ifs” is a waste of your mind’s processing power. Commit yourself to focusing on the moment and clearing your head of anything else. Many future events and situations resolve themselves without major intervention and just a little minor attention. Keep this in mind as you conserve your energy for the moment and task at hand.

Prioritize Your Thoughts.

The mind filters through all types of noise. As your mind races, be smart about what you choose to tune in and out, and subsequently act on and not. Decisive awareness can improve all areas of your life, whether you are learning how to protect personal information with a vishing overview or you’re inspired by a yoga class to end a negative relationship.

Stop Worrying.

Worry is a wasteful emotion. If something requires action from you, then take that action. If there’s nothing you can do presently, then eliminate worry because it’s not changing anything for better or worse. Take some deep breaths, force yourself to relax, and let it be.

Learn Relaxation Methods.

Do you feel like you can never get answers for why something happened or didn’t? Relax! Relieve internal tension through deep breathing techniques. MindBodyGreen.com says that deep breathing can clear your head, force your heart rate to slow, and the rest of your body will follow. Also, try using visualization techniques to imagine the best, rather than the worst, possible outcomes.

Adopting inner and outer awareness and mindfulness after many years of running on automatic is challenging. Ease into this lifestyle by observing, rather than reacting. Give attention to your surroundings and emotions. Then move on with control and avoid those unwanted thought patterns. Practice will turn into habits and eventually disruptive and disturbing thoughts will feel foreign — you’ll naturally avoid them. Taking precautions against possible dangers can also alleviate stress. Signing up with a security service, that will protect you from identity theft and bank fraud, can at empower you to live without fear.

About the Author

Emily Smith is a writer, yoga teacher, and fitness instructor from New Mexico.