Category Archives: Living Your Dreams

The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

Dreams and Goals and In Between…

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Guest Blogger: Ken La SalleThe Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

I took my road bike out for my first ride of the year today, cycling just over seven miles. Since it was my first ride, it was surprisingly exhausting. I was lucky to make it that far and it hurt. That happens because I haven’t cycled in about four months; getting back into it will take time and patience. My goal is to log a few hundred miles rides, called “centuries”, before the year is out. My dream isn’t to become a great bicyclist. My dream is just to be a good cyclist… and even that’s going to take some time.

But thinking about this goal and this dream this morning as I was stomping on the pedals for all I was worth and trying to squeeze just a little bit more speed out of my cold, out-of-shape body reminded me about how I had meant to write about this very subject. Goals are a great thing to have, but how do they help us move closer toward achieving our dreams?

I’m the kind of person who has a lot of dreams. I dream about being a famous writer – sometimes I even dream of being able to pay my bills with it. I dream about running in a marathon one day, maybe a 10k… maybe a 5k… maybe a 1k. I dream about taking my bike up the California coast, like I’ve heard other people do.

But all of those dreams are very different things from goals.

Goals are guideposts. They are markers. You can have plans that help you get to goals but goals are rarely the world to us. Goals are not what define us.

Now, dreams? Dreams are the big deal. Very often, they are so big that people just can’t believe them. Some of my family look at what I’ve done with my writing career and tell me they’re impressed and I think, “This is nothing compared to my dream.”

Dreams make our hearts sing. Goals just tell us where we are.

… and yet, perhaps they’re not so different in one way.

When I was out on my bike today, struggling for just a measly seven miles, it did feel silly in a way. I mean, I’ve gone cycling over a hundred miles many times in the past. I know there’s more to cycling than a meager seven miles. And yet, being out there on that bike reminded me that I was on my way. Sure, seven miles today is nothing but I’ll never get up to a century without that first step.

And when it comes to my dream of being a writer, I never tell my family what I’m thinking because listening to them tell me how proud they are – and, in truth, mostly it’s my mom – is part of what this is all about. I like having people look at me and see me as a writer, no longer the guy who wants to be a writer one day or the guy who says he’s going to be a writer but an actual, real writer. That’s part of what the dream has always been about.

And, as more people look at me that way, more people will buy my books and read my pieces, listen to my podcasts and download my audiobooks – that’s how it happens.

Goals are just guideposts. They should never be mistaken for dreams in themselves. But you should never forget just how important they are in making your dream real, a little bit closer, and a part of your life.

 

About the Author

Ken La Salle is an author and playwright out of Anaheim, California. His passion is intense humor, meaningful drama, and finding answers to the questions that define our lives. You can find his books on Amazon and Smashwords and all major etailers. His philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya, is available in ebook and paperback. His audio book, The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers, is available on iTunes, Audible, and all major etailers. You can follow Ken’s writing career on his website at www.kenlasalle.com.

Climbing Maya

Patience

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Guest Blogger: Ken La Salle

Last month, I wrote about some of the struggles I’ve been facing in the pursuit of my own dreams and I felt it wouldn’t be right to move on from that topic without first discussing what I’m doing about it. And I struggled with this decision for a while because what I’m doing is just about the hardest thing you can do.

As the title suggests, I have been trying to have patience. Ugh! How did this get involved!

Patience? I have to have patience? That can’t be right! I’ve been raised in a world where just about every problem can be solved in an hour (or less) on network TV! Patience? When problems can’t get solved that fast on television, they can conveniently cut to a montage – but not me! Patience? To give you some idea of just how difficult it is to have patience, I was going to use some pithy quote about patience as the title of this piece but gave up looking when I couldn’t find a good one right away. Patience?

… Yep. Patience.

Listen, one part of my dream to become a writer that makes me very happy is that I’ve reached a point in my writing career where I can see things actually happening. Sure, they’re not big things. Often, they’re not even news-worthy things. (And by “news-worthy”, I’m referring to telling my mom.) But, no matter how small, they’re there – signs that things are moving my way, however glacially.

For instance, you may have noticed down in my bio that an audio book version of my ebook, The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers (Year One of my articles on Recovering the Self), is coming soon. Well, it has been coming soon for a very long time. And that’s not because of any problem making it happen. As it turns out, it just takes a long time to put together an audio book, look for a publisher (and then self-publish when you decide to do it yourself), secure a distributor, and then get it released. Meanwhile, I have been sitting about as patiently as possible… waiting… waiting…

I’ll give you another example. My pursuit of physical fitness, which so often seems more like the sleeping kind of dream than any attainable goal, always seems to be put off, pushed back, pulled away and kept just out of sight. I jog and cycle and even get out of bed early in the morning to go outside and exercise. But too much ice cream or pizza or fast food or… well, you get the idea – too much of that stuff sets me back further and further. At least, that’s how it feels to me. I forget that exercise takes time and lessons need to be learned (such as how to stay away from ice cream).

Nothing is achieved overnight, despite what you might have seen on TV or in the movies. The rich and famous are all just a tiny percentage of humanity. For the rest of us (and even a few of them), things aren’t handed over on a silver platter. We have to work for your dreams and work takes time.

So, yes. In my case, that means I just have to keep working. I have to put in the time. And time takes time – funny how that works out, isn’t it? Even as I remind myself that things will work out and that I will succeed, I have to remember that success is still down the road a ways. I won’t reach it last night.

That’s why it is so important that we find what we love because while we’re being patient, it helps to do something we love. I love to jog and I love to cycle. And I love writing. It just makes me feel good. That’s when you know your dream is worth it because it makes finding patience part of an act of love.

Sure, it’s a struggle, but it’s worth it.

 

About the Author

You can find out more about Ken La Salle at www.kenlasalle.com. Climbing Maya, An Exploration Into Success by Ken La Salle is now

Ken La Salle

Ken La Salle

available from all major e-tailers by Solstice Publishing. You can also find The Worth of Dreams/The Value of Dreamers, a compilation of Ken La Salle’s first year with Recovering the Self with plenty of bonus content, available as an e-book from all major e-tailers and coming soon as an audio book.

Staking Your Claim

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Guest Blogger: Ken La Salle

A while ago, on a different website, I posted a little story about a morning on which I had changed my first rear-tire flat while cycling. You see, I had been cycling for a while but had always worried about whether I would have the knowledge, skill, and gumption to fix that most dreaded of breakdowns (in my mind, at least) the rear-tire flat. But I did it. And, having done it, I was immensely proud of myself. And I wrote in that post on that website that on that particular morning I decided I could finally call myself a cyclist!

… What took me so long?

By the time I wrote that post, I had cycled many trips totaling over a thousand miles. I had purchased my second bike and plenty of gear to go with it. I had fixed front flats, adjusted breaks, lubed and cleaned all the necessary bits on my own and, yet, for some reason I wouldn’t consider myself a cyclist until I had fixed a rear-tire flat.

How silly I felt afterwards! I had been cheating myself out of such a small thing all because I was too insecure just to admit what I did. I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that I was still overweight, I wasn’t as fast as others, and I didn’t cycle with others. I was just a guy who cycled alone at his own level and, okay, I might not have been too pleasant to look at while I did it. But, you know what? I was still a cyclist!

Often, it’s difficult to identify ourselves with people who already do that thing we dream of doing. I couldn’t call myself a cyclist because I thought of people like Lance Armstrong and Andy Schleck – and I certainly was no Lance Armstrong or Andy Schleck! I didn’t think about all the other fine folk who were also cycling, who might not have gone too fast, and who might have been equally chubby. I thought, “If I can’t do it all – if I can’t do even a rear-tire flat repair – what right do I have to call myself a cyclist?”

But, you know what? I was a cyclist. I had achieved the dream I had been shooting for… and it’s a good thing I realize that now and don’t make that same mistake… again…?

… okay, it’s admission time. For a long time, I’ve wanted to take up jogging again. I’ve wanted to do it not for competition but just for my own health. I haven’t reached that goal yet… because I’m still overweight, I’m not as fast as others, and I jog alone… Crap. I did it again, didn’t I?

One of the toughest things about pursuing a dream is getting to that point where you can identify yourself with that dream, where you can say, “I did it!” Far too often, we hold back because we’re afraid we’ll be seen as a fraud or a liar if we give ourselves the benefit of the doubt. We are our own toughest judges.

Trepidation, however, is not a quality that conquers mountains. Stop holding back and allow yourself to identify with that dream you long to achieve! You’ll be surprised at the lift it provides and how it helps bring you even closer to your goal.

I know this because once I finally identified myself as a cyclist, I realized how silly I was for waiting. I had long been a cyclist and I felt great finally allowing myself to admit it.

So, I suppose I should take my own advice. I started jogging about four years ago. Oh, it was a very slow start, to be sure, with some days in which I jogged less than a mile. But I’ve kept at it with recent jogs taking me more than six miles four times each week. I am a jogger. I am athletic. I might not look it but that’ll come around in time, too.

One of the benefits of living a dream is embracing it and identifying it as part of your life. To do otherwise is to cheat yourself out of everything you’ve worked for.

About the Author

Ken La Salle

Ken La Salle

You can find out more about Ken La Salle at www.kenlasalle.com. Climbing Maya, An Exploration Into Success by Ken La Salle is now available from all major e-tailers by Solstice Publishing. You can also find The Worth of Dreams/The Value of Dreamers, a compilation of Ken La Salle’s first year with Recovering the Self with plenty of bonus content, available as an e-book from all major e-tailers and coming soon as an audio book.

There are Those Who Dream

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Guest Blogger: Ken La Salle

After writing a year’s worth of blog entries here on Recovering The Self, I was feeling very pleased with myself. I had started out unsure about my ability to even talk about following your dream and had ended the year able to announce publication of Climbing Maya, which was a dream of my own! Surely, it didn’t get much better than that.

And that’s when Vicky said, “But not everybody is like you. Not everyone has dreams.”

The problem with marrying someone who is your intellectual equal is they tend to be right pretty often.

Was it possible that my gung-ho attitude towards pursuing your dreams wasn’t as universal as I thought? Let’s recap: I’ve been pursuing my dream of being a writer for nearly 30 years, writing novels, non-fiction, plays, poems, whatever I could come up with and lots of it. I also dream of cycling my next century and being a better runner, of losing a little weight (okay, a lot of weight), and on and on. My life is all about working on my dreams and making them come true.

The problem, I realized, is that not everybody can be so gung-ho. Vicky’s point is one I tend to forget: that most people are just trying to make a living, have a life… get through. Vicky can’t relate to my method of setting your sights on the horizon and striving to get there because she lives very differently, a lot more sensibly. She sets a goal down the road a ways and gets there easily, then she sets another goal another short distance beyond, and another, and another. It isn’t nearly as exciting as setting sail for the horizon but, you know what? It works. It makes sense.

But isn’t that also a dream?

One of the things Vicky loves to do is teach, which she now does as the result of a hundred choices she made along the way. When I realized that teaching is just as much a dream for her as any of my dreams, I knew that we were looking at the same thing from a different perspective.

And what is that? What is a dream? What makes it worthwhile?

Dreams don’t have to be out on the horizon, though they can be. You can decide you want to devote your life to some extraordinary goal or you can commit yourself to something more sensible and achievable. A dream can be something very personal or it can involve the world. Dreams can take you on the journey of a lifetime or they can be a goal just a few months out. They’re all dreams.

And you make them worthwhile. You do this with your decision to commit yourself to making them come true. Without commitment, dreams are worthless. They’re nothing more than wishful thinking, sitting on your sofa and saying, “I wish I could do that.” When you make your dream worthwhile, you provide worth to yourself as well.

That’s how I feel when I go cycling, which is a good, short-term dream because the dream is also in the doing. It’s how Vicky feels when she teaches, and when she creates her next dream and her next. Making a living as a writer is not something I do, yet; but every move in that direction is worthwhile.

Sure, you can plug in different synonyms like “goal” or “objective” and if that helps you make things happen, you should do that. I recognize them as dreams because I feel it invests the correct amount of importance in the undertaking. Anyone can have a goal or objective but… a dream? A dream that will fill your heart and make your life so much more than it might be otherwise? Those are special.

And we all have them.

And I firmly believe that life is never fully lived if we’re not going after them. It’s certainly a lot more fun.

About the Author

Ken La Salle

Ken La Salle

You can find out more about Ken La Salle at www.kenlasalle.com. Climbing Maya, An Exploration Into Success by Ken La Salle is now available from all major e-tailers by Solstice Publishing (http://www.solsticepublishing.com/).

It’s Just a Jump to the Left…

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Guest Blogger: Ken La Salle

It’s a strange thing pursuing a dream. Sometimes you feel in the zone and you give it your all. Other times, you feel as though you’re floundering and every step is riddled with doubt. Being someone who has chased a dream his entire life, I feel it is my duty to let you know that the rest of the time—probably as much as 80% of the time—you may not know what you’re doing at all!

There’s no certainty. No path. It’s entirely up to you. This is something I’ve had to explain to my mom when we’ve had conversations about my writing career. As a woman who had a traditional career working in manufacturing, I can always see her dying to ask, “So, are you crazy?”

Such is the life of a dreamer. We’re… well, kinda crazy. Did you know that Harold Lloyd, one of the kings of comedy in silent film, put his entire future on the flip of a coin? (Fortunately for fans such as myself, it landed as it did.) Popular legend tells us the Wright Brothers, inventors of human flight, did so only after running a bicycle shop. Walt Disney was thrown out of his pursuit of a journalistic career by an editor who told Disney he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

All you know is your calling. Maybe you’re lucky and you can put a name on it—invention or art or what have you—or maybe you don’t even know what it is; you just know in your gut there’s something you have to do.

That’s how it was with me. As a young man, my dream was to be an actor. I was fortunate enough to live that out on stages and even in film. At the same time, I also wanted to write… and sing… and direct… The only thing I was sure of was that I wanted to create and words were the medium through which I knew I’d excel.

After decades of meandering about, I ended my thirties with a solid focus on writing novels —and I’ve written a few. Then, I found an opportunity (and a talent) for writing plays. Then, I found some interest in my articles.

It’s not about being single-minded. Following a dream is about being what you need to be to follow that dream. And so it was a few years ago that I found myself inspired to answer the question: “What is success?” I’d studied Philosophy as Cal State Fullerton and had read more than my share to know a good question when I heard it. I spent several months pursuing the answer and even more months writing it down. It ended up in a book I called Climbing Maya, a reference to the illusory nature of my search.

When I was done, I had written a philosophical memoir I could be proud of that I knew had actually added something to the world. My dream with all of its back roads and detours had taken me to a place where I’d actually done something no one else had ever done!

I had told Vicky from the beginning that I was sure it would never sell but after you write a book, what else is there to do but try to sell it? So, I did. Several hundred rejections later, having resigned my book to self-publication (which I have done with several of my novels), I found an agent whose belief in me and my book was so strong… it was an inspiration in itself! Was it possible that my words had such a positive effect on one person and could that happen with others?

Well, as it turns out, it could. And it did. And I’m happy to tell you that Climbing Maya will be published by Solstice Publishing!

Dreams rarely take you in a straight line. It’s what makes them fun!

You can find more news on Climbing Maya here and on my writing blog at http://kenlasalle.blogspot.com/. Next month, I’ll take you on another sideways turn with Climbing Maya with… a step to the right… Listen to  a podcast that features a discussion of Climbing Maya,

About the Author

Ken La Salle

Ken La Salle

Novelist and Playwright, Ken La Salle grew up in Santa Ana, California and has remained in the surrounding area his entire life. He was raised with strong, blue-collar roots, which have given him a progressive and environmentalist view. As a result, you’ll find many of his stories touching those areas both geographically and philosophically. He’s also very funny. His plays are often seen in theaters on the west coast of the U.S. and many of his books can be found in ebook format on Amazon.com (for the Kindle) and Smashwords.com(for all e-reader formats). Ken La Salle is represented by Sullivan Maxx Literary Agency.