Category Archives: Nancy Oelklaus

Wayfinding

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Guest Blogger: Nancy Oelklaus

Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically
My husband and I just returned from two weeks in Europe–one week in Cyprus and one in Croatia. These destinations are off the beaten track for Americans; in fact, we saw only one other American family during the entire two weeks.

When we travel, we don’t go on tours. Instead, we get maps and books and decide, one day at a time, what we will do. I call this wayfinding–letting one thing naturally lead to the next, open for discovery. Our technology didn’t work well, so we were completely unplugged–no phone, no internet, little English language TV. A beautiful head-clearing. A wonderful re-connection with each other. Nothing to tie us to the everyday lives we live here in Austin.

Greek mythology has it that Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, was born from the Mediterranean sea crashing ashore near the place where we stayed. So I set an intention for the trip to become more open for love.

For two weeks I was set free from judgment. People I encountered were speaking other languages; I couldn’t understand what they were saying, so I didn’t judge whether or not I agreed. They were from different cultures, so I gave no thought to what they wore or how they looked. We were seeing wondrous, beautiful sights, and my heart was increasingly opening to the beauty, with each sight even more amazing than the last. Appreciation was my dominant emotion.

This is a gift of travel–seeing with new eyes. One of my teachers once said, “What you see is not what you’re looking at; it’s what you’re looking with. So let us look with eyes of love.”

It’s easier to look with eyes of love when I’m in a strange place. Now my intention is to be the me who was in Cyprus and Croatia when I’m in Austin in my everyday life.

About the Author

Nancy Oelklaus

Nancy Oelklaus is a personal life coach based in Austin, Texas and the author of Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically as well as Alphabet Meditations for Teachers and co-author of Rewriting Life Scripts, with Liliane Desjardins and Irene Watson.

Nancy Oelklaus leads Hye Road Retreats with horseman Lindy Segall. Learn more at www.HeadtoHeart.com.

Gratitude

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Guest Blogger: Nancy Oelklaus

Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working AuthenticallySeveral years ago when I was going through a very stressful time, someone suggested to me that I make a gratitude list. Up until that time, my philosophy had been to expect the worst; that way, I was never disappointed. To shift from looking for problems to looking for blessings was a profound change for me.

Vividly I remember what that early list was like: I was grateful for gasoline and a car to drive. I was grateful for a friend who helped. It was autumn, and I was grateful for cool weather and nature’s beauty. I became conscious of being grateful.

Gradually, over time, as I practiced gratitude, my ability to appreciate my life increased. To my amazement, the quality of my life also improved.

This week we celebrate Thanksgiving–which for many people is about an abundance of food. This year I have decided to de-emphasize the food and focus instead on being thankful. Today I made a list of people I will call or write for no other reason than to tell them I’m grateful for their presence in my life.

I’m making gratitude a conscious practice. My goal is to tell every person with whom I interact, in person or via email, what I appreciate about them. That includes my husband–and you.

Thank you for reading these emails. It warms my heart and encourages me when you respond in writing or come up to me in a gathering and tell me that something I wrote was beneficial. I’m grateful for my readers. Have a gratitude-filled Thanksgiving!

About the Author

Nancy Oelklaus

Nancy Oelklaus is a personal life coach based in Austin, Texas and the author of Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically as well as Alphabet Meditations for Teachers and co-author of Rewriting Life Scripts, with Liliane Desjardins and Irene Watson.

Nancy Oelklaus leads Hye Road Retreats with horseman Lindy Segall. Learn more at www.HeadtoHeart.com.

Making Friends with Fear

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Guest Blogger: by Nancy Oelklaus

Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working AuthenticallySome speakers, when they tell their life story, say they felt there was a hole in them that they kept trying to fill. My story is that there seemed to be a big ball of something outside of me that separated me from others and cushioned all experience. I’ve come to understand that the name of that ball is fear.

Recently I’ve become aware that one of my greatest fears has come to me. I’m living in it. Never mind what it is or where it came from. If I told you, you would laugh–because to most people, it is a blessing. But I was raised to fear it, so here I am, uncomfortable!

Author Betty Sue Flowers once gave great advice to someone who was terrified that she would end up as a greeter at Wal-Mart. She told the woman to go do it. Once she had experienced it, she wouldn’t have to fear it any more.

This advice makes sense to me, as I realize that’s exactly what I’m doing–making friends with fear.

Fear is a powerful force. It affects stock markets, bank accounts, health, personal effectiveness, and relationships. The opposite of fear is faith, which is what we exercise when we walk into our fear and make friends with it. Since faith is a higher state of being, it’s a happier place to be.

So I’m going to change my self-talk from, “Oh, my gosh, I’m doing what I’m terrified of!” to “I’m exercising faith and enjoying my life.”

It’s really rather nice not to have to carry that big ball around with me.

About the Author

Nancy Oelklaus

Nancy Oelklaus is a personal life coach based in Austin, Texas and the author of Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically as well as Alphabet Meditations for Teachers and co-author of Rewriting Life Scripts, with Liliane Desjardins and Irene Watson.

Nancy Oelklaus leads Hye Road Retreats with horseman Lindy Segall. Learn more at www.HeadtoHeart.com.

Courtesy of the Heart

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Guest Blogger: Nancy Oelklaus

Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working AuthenticallyLast week I heard Augie Garrido, the winningest college baseball coach, speak. He said one of the greatest challenges in coaching is to help players learn how to focus and maintain inner confidence and peace regardless of what is happening on the field or in the stands–even if the people in the stands are booing.

As a different kind of coach, this is also my greatest challenge–to lead people to inner peace that is stronger than any circumstance. The best intentions can be shattered when someone with a big personality hijacks our emotions and takes us to a state of mind where we never wanted to be. Or something that looks like disaster befalls us. Or our own thoughts hijack us, and we begin to censor either ourselves, another person, or a situation that doesn’t please us.

For many months, I have been focusing on courtesy of the heart in my morning reading and meditation. Every morning I read these words, “Courtesy of the heart welcomes new ideas and people, feels joy instead of fear, sees with fresh eyes and appreciates rather than criticizes what it sees.”

Centered in courtesy of the heart, may you find peace in every circumstance that comes your way today, inner and outer. May you have courtesy first to yourself and then to others.

There is a courtesy of the heart. It is akin to love. Out of it arises the purest courtesy in the outward behavior.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

About the Author

Nancy Oelklaus

Nancy Oelklaus is a personal life coach based in Austin, Texas and the author of Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically as well as Alphabet Meditations for Teachers and co-author of Rewriting Life Scripts, with Liliane Desjardins and Irene Watson.

Nancy Oelklaus leads Hye Road Retreats with horseman Lindy Segall. Learn more at www.HeadtoHeart.com.

Pause Between Tasks

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Guest Blogger: Nancy Oelklaus

Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically

A couple of weeks ago I was preparing to lead a small retreat for which I had a lot of responsibility, including food preparation. I completed the most important thing–the retreat design–early and left grocery shopping and cooking until last. I was working all of this into an already-busy schedule, but I could see from my lists and plans that there was enough time to accomplish everything if I remained calm and steady.

To stay in a calm, steady state of mind, I did two things:

  1. I paused between tasks to clear my mind. Sometimes that meant I drank water or sat down for a minute. Sometimes it meant I walked out on the deck to water my plants and check on the garden. Once or twice it meant taking a short nap when I was tired.
  2. I kept priorities clear, not worrying about what was ahead, just keeping my mind on the task at hand. So each time I paused between tasks, I was resetting my priorities, checking off the one just completed and bringing a new one forward.

What surprised me about this experience is that, while my prior experience with food preparation had always been exhausting, this time I found I actually enjoyed it!

May this simple process bring more ease and enjoyment into your life, as it did mine!

About the Author

Nancy Oelklaus

Nancy Oelklaus is a personal life coach based in Austin, Texas and the author of Journey From Head to Heart: Living and Working Authentically as well as Alphabet Meditations for Teachers and co-author of Rewriting Life Scripts, with Liliane Desjardins and Irene Watson.

Nancy Oelklaus leads Hye Road Retreats with horseman Lindy Segall. Learn more at www.HeadtoHeart.com.