Category Archives: Fulfilling Your Dreams

The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

Dreams Grow as You Grow

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Guest Blogger: Ken La SalleThe Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

In the course of any dream, any career, and indeed any life, things change. They change so much it can sometimes be scary.

It’s a familiar story: Someone starts down one road until they find the road had ended and they have to blaze the trail for themselves if they wish to continue.

This is what has happened to me.

It was a long time in coming. It has been going on for so long, in fact, I didn’t realize it until I’d gone so far it was like standing on the edge of a cliff. Finally, I just had to force myself to stop for a minute (actually an entire day) and think carefully about what has been going on in my writing career, what has been changing in my dream.

When I finally realized what was happening, I understood that I had been here before.

Back when I worked as a corporate writer, I had been in this position several times. Legal writing had led me down a career path that provided more opportunities for technical writing. When I changed tracks and started doing technical writing, opportunities opened up for marketing and copywriting. Each time I changed paths, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Each time I changed paths, my world grew a bit. But it didn’t come without an equal bit of fear.

Taking a walk with my wife this morning, I asked her if the same thing had happened in her career. Vicky is a paralegal. Her career has taken her from a small law office to a corporate position. Her corporate position opened a door to management and another door to teaching. Each time a door opened, she too was faced with the intimidating choice: step into the unknown and grow or stay still and play it safe.

Once I realized how familiar this was, I felt a bit more at ease… except for one thing. The corporate world is often structured with paths of advancement, for growth. But how much structure is provided to the person aspiring to a dream only they can see? Athletes have to make this decision with every competition. Chefs must thread the needle between specialization and lack of focus. Actors must be cognizant with every role they play what that will do for every opportunity that will come next.

And then, there comes the time when they must create their own opportunities, blaze their own trails. Actors sometimes do this by writing or producing their own material. A chef may open her own restaurant. An athlete may face an obstacle they know they’re not physically prepared for. Creating opportunities means creating risk, creating danger.

And yet, that is what dreamers must do.

That is what I must do.

And I can tell you it is frightening. Because I started out this road wanting to be a writer. How did I get here, on the edge of the unknown? Surprisingly, from writing too much. I’ve overloaded my agents with so many books they either represent or are considering for representation, they simply cannot fit more work on their table.

And I am left with more books waiting in the wings. I’m not kidding. Right now, I have one non-fiction book and three novels that I would love to write. I am ready to write them. I could start today!

And yet, what good would it do me? What benefit would it bring? Those books would just sit here… waiting.

I didn’t dream of being a writer just to write books that gather dust.

The problem is that I have reached a point in my dream where I need to grow. I need to push myself to become more than I had originally imagined.

In the coming months, I will address this issue and tell you how I am facing it head-on. You will learn about new projects created to help me grow. You will hear about how I’ve faced this problem before, which is how I know I can face it now.

It isn’t new. We all face this.

This time, I will face it with you.

About the Author

Ken La Salle is an author and playwright out of Anaheim, California. His passion is intense humor, meaningful drama, and finding answers to the questions that define our lives. You can find his books on Amazon and Smashwords and all major etailers. His philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya, is available in ebook and paperback. Ken also has a number of audiobooks available on iTunes, Audible, and all major etailers. You can follow Ken’s writing career on his website at www.kenlasalle.com.

The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

The Tragedy of Impotence

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Guest Blogger: Ken La SalleThe Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

I used to tell people about how much I wished I didn’t have a dream. When it came to wanting to be a writer, there were times when I just wished I could work some everyday, ordinary job and not dream at all. I thought I’d be better off. I thought I would be safe. I couldn’t have been more foolish.

When I consider all of the joy and fulfillment I have experienced as the result of following my dream – when I just stop and recall how much better off I am for knowing what makes me happy and pursuing it; I realize just how lucky I am. I tell you this because I found out this week that things could be far worse.

Listen: I have been looking for guests to appear on my new podcast, So Dream Something, lately. I even posted a notice on Reddit to see if I could find some motivated people who are pursuing their dream. What I ended up with, however, was just, plain unbelievable. It was a single comment. It read, “Unfortunately, I know what my dream is but I don’t know how to achieve it.”

I read it. And then, I re-read it. I was flabbergasted.

“I know what my dream is but I don’t know how to achieve it.”

I want you to think about this the next time you feel defeated in the pursuit of your dream. My heart goes out to this person. I couldn’t think of something more tragic. And, the thing is, this idea hadn’t even occurred to me until I read it. I understand intimately the challenge of pursuing your dreams. I can also relate to those who live without dreams, people who live their lives in peace. Those were the people I envied so much. But to have a dream, to know what would make you happy, and feel yourself impotent to do anything? To not have any idea how you can make your dream come true, even in a small way? To know what will fulfill you but have no idea how to find fulfillment in your life? That, my friends, is a tragedy.

Comic and wisenheimer Jackie Kashian has an interesting philosophy about these things and I’ll summarize it here in my own words: If you want to do something badly enough, you’ll find a way to do it.

I’ve come to believe this very strongly, especially after interviewing about half a dozen guests on So Dream Something. Each one of them found their own way toward pursuing and achieving their dreams. Those without money found ways. Those without position found ways. There is always a way. It may not be exactly what you’d hoped but it gets you there. Heck, in my case, that has involved self-publishing, recording my own audiobooks, and even pounding on doors long after they’re closed to me.

But I do it because the dream is that important. Either I’m going to find happiness in this life or I’m going to be miserable – and I’m not too keen on misery. It’s one of the things that keeps me from eating broken glass. My point is I know where my happiness lies and that’s my direction. That’s my course.

What a sad statement about our society that we have people who know their course, who know their dream, but are made so impotent that they don’t know what to do? What creates this impotence, I wonder? I can’t help but think back to my own experience and remember those who told me I’d be better off with some other course, rather than moving toward what I know will make me happy. Follow a “Plan B”, otherwise known as someone else’s plan, rather than the thing you know will bring you happiness, your Plan A.

I don’t know if that’s what is preventing this individual from following their dream but I hope they find an answer to the impotence they feel. The answer is within this person. It’s within all of us. We know what it is.

Our challenge is to follow it, no matter what. 

About the Author

Ken La Salle is an author and playwright out of Anaheim, California. His passion is intense humor, meaningful drama, and finding answers to the questions that define our lives. You can find his books on Amazon and Smashwords and all major etailers. His philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya, is available in ebook and paperback. Ken also has a number of audiobooks available on iTunes, Audible, and all major etailers. You can follow Ken’s writing career on his website at www.kenlasalle.com.

 

The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

Yours alone…

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Guest Blogger: Ken La SalleThe Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

You know what dreamers like? Support.

You know what dreamers never get enough of? Some correct answers include: money, time, sponsorship, cookies, ice cream, burritos, pizza… sorry, I haven’t had lunch, yet. The answer I was looking for, however, was also… support. That’s an unfortunate coincidence.

Back in my acting days, I used to hear actors talk about the 10-1 rule before shows. That rule says, “If you invite ten people to see your show, only one person will attend.” That rule seems to fit pretty well no matter if you’re a writer, an actor, a runner, a painter, a restaurateur, a pastry chef… no matter what your dream may be. You have to attract a lot of people in order to get support from just a few, or sometimes even one.

Now, I know this isn’t fair. It’s not right. It should not be. You have friends and family and people who love you – they should all give you their support. They should all be on your side. They should all buy your hand-crafted jewelry or see your recital or listen to your band’s new track or be there to see your accomplishment…

But that just isn’t how it works.

And there’s a very good reason for it. They have lives.

Okay, that sounds a bit harsh, but think about your own life. You have to scramble every day to get work done, handle things in your personal life, simply keep your home clean, and then there are little details on top of that: walking the dogs, calling your mom, taking down the Christmas lights. (By the way, it’s April.) You know what I’m talking about. Life isn’t easy and it’s full of things you’ve got to do.

Well, so do they. Your friends and family are probably going to give you more support than the cold, indifferent world around you but they can’t do it all the time. Heck, some of them won’t even be able to do it once.

This is your dream. This isn’t theirs. It’s not their job to make it come true. It’s yours.

The worst thing about the 10-1 rule is that it is improperly stated. It just isn’t going to work if you want your dream to come true, especially if your dream is something big, something that’s going to take a lot of support. Big dreams require big results, so you’re going to have to think beyond finding ten people and far beyond that one person return.

The 10-1 rule is more accurately stated as the 1000-100 rule or the 10,000-1000 rule. In a world with the Internet and hundreds of TV channels, with celebrities known only for being repugnant (I’m looking at you, Honey Boo-Boo) and careers that change faster than our grandparents could only have imagined (probably in a nightmare), thinking small just isn’t going to work.

If you want your dream to succeed in the way most people hope to, with the adulation and applause most people dream of, then dreaming small won’t work. Family and friends might provide emotional support but they can’t be expected to provide everything. If one of them goes to see your band play or cheers when you cross the finish at the marathon, that’s great. But we should never blame them for not giving enough support or convince ourselves that, somehow, our dreams are not coming true because of them.

Dream big, as big as you can. Just understand what that means. It means you’re going to be on your own. The dream is yours and yours alone. Success is up to you.

About the Author

Ken La Salle is an author and playwright out of Anaheim, California. His passion is intense humor, meaningful drama, and finding answers to the questions that define our lives. You can find his books on Amazon and Smashwords and all major etailers. His philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya, is available in ebook and paperback. His audio book, The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers, is available on iTunes, Audible, and all major etailers. You can follow Ken’s writing career on his website at www.kenlasalle.com.

The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

When Dreams Take a Back Seat

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Guest Blogger: Ken La SalleThe Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

Would you like to know what I was going to write this month? With Valentine’s Day shortly upon us, I was going to write an article reminding readers how important it is to love your dream. I was ready with allusions to romance, with examples from my own life, and a poignant ending to wrap it all together. It would’ve been nice.

As it turns out, though, that isn’t what I’m going to write because, in my case, I find it easier to write these articles from a place relevant to my life. I like to think we’re both on the same kind of journey in following our dreams, so what would be the point of my telling you to love yours when I have been putting my own dreams in the back seat?

And that’s why, this month, I thought it might be a good idea to share some of the events of my own life and why I’ve found it so important to relocate my dreams back there. And now that I’m in this place, it seems to me it must be very common, this need to push things aside, and why it’s important to recognize that as a part of our journey.

You see, earlier this month, my wife had to go into the hospital for a minor procedure. In the process of recovery, her still-healing incision became slightly infected and that was enough to put her back into the hospital. What was supposed to be minor turned into a medical reality we will face for the next couple of months. (I won’t go into details about the procedure not only to protect her privacy but because this really was minor when you consider what others unfortunately must face.)

I am understandably relieved that she’ll be home soon and we’re through the worst but there is no escaping the strong effect this had on the pursuit of my dream. With my wife back into the hospital, the knowledge of how this would affect our finances, and the emotional impact of seeing my wife go through all of this, I realized I had to put things aside for a bit. My dream had to take a back seat.

And this is fine. I know I come to you every month and say, “Follow your dream! Follow your dream!” But I don’t want anyone to think they should do that to the exclusion of all else. Life is about your relationships – your dream would mean nothing in a vacuum, after all.

This particular week, I was engaging in two important projects. First, I was going to finalize another audiobook. This would require my attention and concentration and also time. Second, I was scheduled to begin writing a new novel. My schedule for this – because I’m a big believer in putting yourself on a schedule, which is fodder for future articles – was to aggressively write 5,000 words a day.

When my beloved Vicky was admitted to the hospital on Tuesday, everything had changed. My focus was on something far more important, and this something was a someone: my Vicky. I had to sit down with myself and ask, “How do I move forward with my plans while also providing enough time so I can be there for Vicky?” Because life is about changing priorities and keeping in mind what is important.

In the end, I decided to slow progress on my audiobook to a halt and write only 2,000 each day in the new book. Even that was a struggle. My mind was never really on my writing; it was back at the hospital with my wife. Even though she was resting in her private room and eating surprisingly good food, all I thought about was her.

As I write this, it is January 25th and Vicky will get out of the hospital today. She’ll come home where I can look after her and, slowly but surely because Vicky is incredibly independent, my focus will turn back to my work, to my dream.

Not following your dream all the time is not the same as not following your dream. Keep things in perspective because your perspective can always change.

About the Author

Ken La Salle is an author and playwright out of Anaheim, California. His passion is intense humor, meaningful drama, and finding answers to the questions that define our lives. You can find his books on Amazon and Smashwords and all major etailers. His philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya, is available in ebook and paperback. His audio book, The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers, is available on iTunes, Audible, and all major etailers. You can follow Ken’s writing career on his website at www.kenlasalle.com.

The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

Facing Forward

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Guest Blogger: Ken La SalleThe Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers

“Don’t let 2013 discourage you, even if it is an unlucky number,” my friend, Brad, told me over a few beers. Little did he know I was considering what to write about on Recovering the Self this month. Last year, I wrote about assessing and reassessing your plans and strategies for the previous year, but I know better than anyone how easy it is to get discouraged. And, I suppose, for some people that number 13 might get in the way as well.

You see, I wasn’t always Mister Up-beat-talking-about-going-after-my-dreams. Not at all. I used to get very discouraged over every setback, and I certainly saw each New Year as a large setback indeed! I’d think, “There goes another year.” I’d watch it go right by me, missed opportunities and all.

The difference between that guy and the person writing this article? Now, when the new year comes, I face forward, focus on the horizon, and look for what opportunities the new year will bring. It’s really that simple: turning from one direction to the other.

And the New Year is a terrific time to make that shift in direction because, after all, everyone is facing that way. So many people talk about New Year’s Resolutions and the like, it’s very easy to go with the flow and face the same direction as everyone else. You don’t have to make a resolution. In fact, if you ask me, a single resolution is small-time thinking.

If you shift your attention forward, you can go from looking for one opportunity in the New Year – I hate the term “resolution” because it’s so inflexible – to really planning out your strategies for the entire year ahead.

In my own case, I’ve been looking forward to the New Year for about a month now. After all, my wife and I make our holiday plans long before they come around. That leaves me with plenty of time to look out into the coming year and see what opportunities are coming my way. If I can’t see any, I make some. My dreams deserve no less!

My plans for the beginning of 2013 are very ambitious and I’d like to share one with you right now. Once the year begins, and just as this article goes live on the Recovering the Self site, I’ll begin distribution for a new podcast called So Dream Something. Twice each month, I’ll interview someone who is pursuing their dream and we’ll talk about what it’s like to be a dreamer and what they’re doing to make their dreams come true.

This podcast has been such a great fit that I’ve been enthusiastic about its release since my wife, Vicky, and I first began discussing it late in November. Anyone who has read my work – either here on Recovering the Self, in The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers, or in my book Climbing Maya – knows how enthusiastic I am about our passions in life. Our passions to understand, to experience, to love, to find fulfillment, are essential to making us into the people we wish we could be.

That’s what dreams are: not ends in themselves, but means toward the end of self-discovery and fulfillment.

And that’s why that shift from the past to the future, from regret to discovery, is so important. No longer are you watching who you could have been slip from your grasp. Now, you are facing the person you wish to become, taking an active role in your own creation, going after your dream.

I hope you’ll enjoy So Dream Something as we shift our focus toward our passions in life twice each month. If you are pursuing your dream, I’d love to hear from you. You can contact me through Recovering the Self – just leave me a comment below – or through my website at www.kenlasalle.com.

It’s like Brad said, “2013 is only unlucky if we let it be. Otherwise, it can be a great year.”

About the Author

Ken La Salle is an author and playwright out of Anaheim, California. His passion is intense humor, meaningful drama, and finding answers to the questions that define our lives. You can find his books on Amazon and Smashwords and all major etailers. His philosophical memoir, Climbing Maya, is available in ebook and paperback. His audio book, The Worth of Dreams The Value of Dreamers, is available on iTunes, Audible, and all major etailers. You can follow Ken’s writing career on his website at www.kenlasalle.com.