Recovering The SelfA Journal of Hope and Healing

Anxiety

How to Manage the Stress of Fertility Treatments

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by Lilly Sheperd 

It can be a very emotional and intense realization that you or your partner require extra help to conceive a child. Also, ifbaby you consider that these treatments and therapies rarely work on the first try, the disappointment of each failed attempt can really weigh on you. Stress is not going to help your cause when it comes to conceiving either. This is why it is important that you consciously make an effort to manage your emotions, even though that may seem impossible at times.

The first thing that you need to realize, and share with those close to you, is that the treatments will amplify your feelings. They can make you more irritable, more melancholy and less patient than you would normally be. It is important that those closest to you understand this and make an effort to be understanding—or at the very least not take things too personally.

Have a game plan in place for dealing with difficult people or situations. Inevitably you will find yourself in a situation from time to time, or having to deal with someone who is insensitive. Knowing how you will handle these situations will help you extract yourself from these with some grace and sanity still intact hopefully. While you are undergoing treatments it will be easier on you if you manage to avoid the stressful situations altogether.

You don’t have to go it alone. True you may be making this decision on your own, but that doesn’t mean that you need to be completely alone with all your thoughts feelings and emotions. Have a support person whom you can trust and who is supportive of your decisions. Although they may not understand exactly what you are feeling and experiencing, they will provide warm hugs and a listening ear.

Do not make the potential conception the main focus of your life. If all you think about is whether or not you will conceive with this round of therapy, you will likely drive yourself mad. Stay in control of your life, don’t put everything on hold for maybe. If you want to get some new clothes, do it! By keeping in control of what it is within your power to control you will minimize the feelings of helplessness that can come with failed attempts. That being said, you also should never blame yourself for failed attempts. It’s easy to tell you this, but you really need to believe it.

Realize that this is not your only hope. There are many things in life which people feel are ideal and that they strive for. When one does not seem attainable it is easy for people to shut down and become depressed that they cannot achieve their desire. Just like most things in life, there is more than one way to be a parent. If fertility treatments are unsuccessful, there are other options. You are hoping to parent a child, and there are many unwanted children in the world that are hoping for a parent. Sometimes you have to realize that maybe what you held as an ideal is not the only way to fulfill your own dreams, and in this case someone else’s as well.

Lastly, go ahead and cry. You will be terribly unhappy if you constantly try to put on a strong façade. Don’t be afraid to let the emotions flood out of you in the form of tears. As humans, crying is a part of sadness and our grieving process. It can be a very helpful way of clearing your mind.

More information on fertilization and other issues related to fertility or sperm donation can be sought at reputable cryobanks, such as the California Cryobank. They will be able to offer guidance if the possibility of using donated sperm becomes a viable option.

Above all, trust that you will realize your dream; believing in your dream and a healthy dose of realistic optimism never hurts any situation.

About the Author

Lilly Sheperd is a freelance writer and an occasional guest-blogger who shares her health related tips on various blogs. Lilly is a tennis enthusiast and she loves to travel in her spare time.

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Recovering The Self is a forum for people to tell their stories. Individual contributors accept complete responsibility for the veracity, accuracy, and non-infringement of their reporting.
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